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Euripides’ Shorts

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Everything posted by Euripides’ Shorts

  1. Euripides’ Shorts
    Give me a lever long enough and a place to stand and I can put it between my legs and pretend that it’s my dick.
  2. Euripides’ Shorts
    Yes, I know that’s how suppositories work, but I still didn’t care for her bedside manner.
  3. Euripides’ Shorts
    A scrub is a guy who farts and walks. He’s also known as a crop duster.
  4. Euripides’ Shorts
    I like long walks on the beach and big butts in my face.
  5. Euripides’ Shorts
    I’m sorry, ma’am. I had no idea that was your face.
  6. Euripides’ Shorts
    I’m not stupid. YOU’RE stupid!
  7. Euripides’ Shorts
    He who poops and runs away may get out of the house before people realize the toilet’s clogged.
  8. Euripides’ Shorts
    When pizza’s on a bagel, I don’t eat pizza at all.
  9. Euripides’ Shorts
    Bright light city gonna set my retinas on fire
  10. Euripides’ Shorts
    How much Allen could an Allen Norris Norris if an Allen Norris could Norris Harrelson?
  11. Euripides’ Shorts
    These colors don’t run…except into my undies.
  12. Euripides’ Shorts
    One part comedy, two parts bang: that’s the way WE like to hang.
  13. Euripides’ Shorts
    Don’t jump on my jamboree and I won’t poop in your potpourri.
  14. Euripides’ Shorts
    I ain’t afraid, if that’s what you’re implying.
  15. Euripides’ Shorts
    This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by electricity!
  16. Euripides’ Shorts
    That’s bullshit and you know it! This is human shit and *I* know it!
  17. Euripides’ Shorts
    Beans, beans, the musical fruit: the more you eat, the more you shit bean husks.
  18. Euripides’ Shorts
    I’m hung like a horse—upside-down over a glue can.
  19. Euripides’ Shorts

    Loose a deuce aboard the Spruce Goose.

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Loose a deuce aboard the Spruce Goose.
  20. Euripides’ Shorts
    That’s easy for YOU to say, you loquacious tri-linguist.
  21. Euripides’ Shorts
    IMO, Mr. Cho, his M.O. was to do-si-do real slow.
  22. Euripides’ Shorts

    Ass: The Other White Meat

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Ass: The Other White Meat
  23. Euripides’ Shorts
    Your ass, my face. Let’s make it a date!
  24. Euripides’ Shorts
    Two lobes diverged on a donkey butt, and I spanked the one less gratified, and that has made all the difference.
  25. Euripides’ Shorts
    Theirs not to reason why, / Their butt to skeet inside
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