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Euripides’ Shorts

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Everything posted by Euripides’ Shorts

  1. Bee-line for the key lime, but watch out for that Pie Minister.
  2. Duck, duck, goose. Congratulations, you’re a registered ornithologist!
  3. I’ve a bucket of squash and a sheet with a hole, so come on, Baby. Let’s party!
  4. One who keeps his dick in a Spider-Man comic all day is a peter parker.
  5. The Puritan word for “creampie” is “regular.”
  6. My favorite poet is also what I scream at the end of sex: “e.e. cummings.”
  7. If the Marshmallow Man can Stay Puft, why can’t you?
  8. Let’s get this Havarti party started, Marty!
  9. The deeper you go, the softer you blow.
  10. The Elation Migration of Horse-Butt Nation cured me of Slant-Rhyme Indiscretion.
  11. Tee-tee and boo-boo. Pee-pee when I poo-poo.
  12. People who aren’t croissant bakers knead not a ply.
  13. That hole’s where the bee comes out; this hole’s where my pee comes out.
  14. Euripides’ Shorts

    Shart, shower, and shave.

    Shart, shower, and shave.
  15. The only chronic I smoke is my chronic fatigue syndrome.
  16. Euripides’ Shorts

    Preheat; skeet-skeet.

    Preheat; skeet-skeet.
  17. Euripides’ Shorts

    Whatever YOLO wants, YOLO gets.

    Whatever YOLO wants, YOLO gets.
  18. If Benjamin Button were Catholic he would’ve died as a skeet-skeet.
  19. Euripides’ Shorts

    Chocolat? Shak-a-laka!

    Chocolat? Shak-a-laka!
  20. Don’t worry, this horse glue is gluten-free.
  21. Garlic my gar-dick while I gar-eat this Filet-o’-Garfish
  22. That stool softener really did the trick. These bar seats are way cushier.
  23. Opinions are like assholes: everyone’s got one, except birds. Their excrement holes are combined.
  24. Euripides’ Shorts

    Guess what? Pooty butt.

    Guess what? Pooty butt.
  25. Chill ‘em and grill ‘em; drop ‘em and drill ‘em
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