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Euripides’ Shorts

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Everything posted by Euripides’ Shorts

  1. Euripides’ Shorts
    Baby, don’t do me like that! It feels better from behind.
  2. Euripides’ Shorts
    I want to meet the asshole who is actually saying, “Brrr!” when it’s cold.
  3. Euripides’ Shorts
    Is my dick really that small or is it these Coke-bottle glasses?
  4. Euripides’ Shorts

    Why jack when you can Jill?

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Why jack when you can Jill?
  5. Euripides’ Shorts
    Rinse me with water and toss me in the recycling—I’m out.
  6. Euripides’ Shorts
    While Daddy’s away, Mommy will play bridge with her friends.
  7. Euripides’ Shorts
    What’s delicious and not nutritious? Most foods.
  8. Euripides’ Shorts
    Quit scratching your nails on that chalkboard so I can squeak this polystyrene.
  9. Euripides’ Shorts
    It looks like pea soup but it’s snot.
  10. Euripides’ Shorts
    Chocolate chip cookie dough? I hardly know ye!
  11. Euripides’ Shorts
    I thought Se-Seven-en was a German instructional video on counting. Boy was I wrong.
  12. Euripides’ Shorts
    The good news is you’re not getting any dumber. The bad news is you’ve been dumb the whole time.
  13. Euripides’ Shorts
    Baby, are your feet tired? ‘Cause you’ve been in that walker for over an hour.
  14. Euripides’ Shorts
    At the porn store I pay cash; then I go home and mash.
  15. Euripides’ Shorts
    You say “bumping uglies” like it’s a bad thing.
  16. Euripides’ Shorts
    Rooty-tooty, fresh and fruity, stick that clyster in my booty.
  17. Euripides’ Shorts
    “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” the door sign read.
  18. Euripides’ Shorts
    You can’t spell “peanut butter” without “pee butt.”
  19. Euripides’ Shorts
    If a movie’s about dancing its title has to look handwritten and be either red, pink, or purple. End of story.
  20. Euripides’ Shorts
    References: Dirty Dancing Footloose Breakin’
  21. Euripides’ Shorts
    Did I stutter?! No, seriously, I have a speech disorder and short-term memory loss.
  22. Euripides’ Shorts
    Seconded.
  23. Euripides’ Shorts
    Be your best self, poop your best dress slacks.
  24. Euripides’ Shorts

    Deez nuts are an aphrodisiac.

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Deez nuts are an aphrodisiac.
  25. Euripides’ Shorts
    I put on women’s underwear one leg-hole thingy at a time, just like everybody else.
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