Euripides’ Shorts

Sit those butts down; it’s time to clown!

Let’s cut the forkplay an’ get right to the spoonin’.

Leave that monocle at home: there’s nothing to see here…unless of course you’re driving, in which case, by all means, bring that monocle with you, Mr. Peanut.

Loosen up those noodles, it’s time to fork!

You say “potato,” I say “edible pet rock.”

Putting the “no” back in “no-reason boner” since 2009

Lips and hips and nips and pips! It’s your neighborhood strip club’s craps game.

If you got it, flaunt it. If you don’t got it, please, put some pants on!

Did someone say chili dog? Throw a sweater on that Schweenie!

Did someone say chili dog? Throw a sweater on that Yorkie!

If you’re down to clown, turn that frown around.

What’s fast and loud and always proud? A lion in a mufflerless sports car.

Let’s get ready to rumble! Earthquake preparedness saves lives.

If butt stuff is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Party hardy, Lardy, with my tardy uncle Marty

Real success is never giving up smoking the rock

I’ll tickle your pickle if you fiddle with my Skittle

You can boat ‘em, you can float ‘em, but it won’t protect your scrotum

It’s all about the lips, the hips, and the nips.

Food so good you could slap your mom, comedy so good you could slap your dong

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely player haters

An apple a day helps the diarrhea spray

Beans, beans, the musical fruit: the more you skeet-skeet, the more you boot scoot.