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Euripides’ Shorts

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Everything posted by Euripides’ Shorts

  1. Euripides’ Shorts
    As sad as it is when a baby cries, you can bottle the tears and use them for spells.
  2. Euripides’ Shorts
    I’m so happy I could shit…and so sad I could eat it.
  3. Euripides’ Shorts
    I’d love to know the wiping strategy of those leaving unflushed turds in public restrooms.
  4. Euripides’ Shorts
    A vampire can’t come inside you unless you ask them to.
  5. Euripides’ Shorts
    As God is my witness, you’ll never be horny again.
  6. Euripides’ Shorts
    Let he who is without Bennigan’s bust the first blues.
  7. Euripides’ Shorts

    Strain not, lest ye blow an o-ring.

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Strain not, lest ye blow an o-ring.
  8. Euripides’ Shorts
    I have two fur babies and two children with hypertrichosis.
  9. Euripides’ Shorts
    How do I love thee? Let me count the ways: one, dat ass.
  10. Euripides’ Shorts

    RIP Uncle Robin, he's molesting cherubs in heaven now

    Euripides’ Shorts replied to StopEatingBees's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Robin Thicke died?!?
  11. Euripides’ Shorts
    You can measure the beauty of a person by the number of Ts in the word “hot.”
  12. Euripides’ Shorts
    Give us this day our daily bread, and break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.
  13. Euripides’ Shorts
    Farts are the thorns on life’s butt rose.
  14. Euripides’ Shorts
    Extra chicken, extra steak. Build that butt, then shake, shake, shake!
  15. Euripides’ Shorts
    Like a fart in the wind, she’s the one that got away.
  16. Euripides’ Shorts
    If peeing on the floor right next to the toilet is wrong lock me up.
  17. Euripides’ Shorts
    Excuse me, are you an heirloom tomato farmer? ‘Cause I’d love to take a bite of your beefsteak.
  18. Euripides’ Shorts
    It takes one to know one, but know it takes no one but one to know to no-no one, no?
  19. Euripides’ Shorts
    It takes two to tango, but three or more porn actors to get me off.
  20. Euripides’ Shorts
    TIL the first butt plug was a continence aid.
  21. Euripides’ Shorts

    Honk if you're horny... fluegelhorn if you're flaccid!

    Euripides’ Shorts replied to Call Waiting for Godot's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    That’s how we know Chuck Mangione has ED.
  22. Euripides’ Shorts
    If you can’t take the heat, don’t be a dog breeder.
  23. Euripides’ Shorts
    Well then, next time you should be more specific when you say billiards is all about putting balls in holes.
  24. Euripides’ Shorts
    Never eat sour wieners—that’s what pineapple is for.
  25. Euripides’ Shorts
    Baby, if your butt were a roulette space, it’d be double zero.
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