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Euripides’ Shorts

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Everything posted by Euripides’ Shorts

  1. Euripides’ Shorts
    If you kill me, you’ll never find the treasure. Unless you’re a mortician.
  2. Euripides’ Shorts
    Or a proctologist.
  3. Euripides’ Shorts
    Milk, milk, lemonade; ‘round the corner, Bear Grylls waits.
  4. Euripides’ Shorts

    The better to slurp deez nuts, my dear.

    Euripides’ Shorts posted a topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    The better to slurp deez nuts, my dear.
  5. Euripides’ Shorts
    I don’t have bad breath. I have TERRIBLE breath.
  6. Euripides’ Shorts
    You can talk all you want about humans’ weak sense of smell but at the end of the day we still know who’s pooped themselves.
  7. Euripides’ Shorts
    Looks like they really did a number on you—a number two, that is!
  8. Euripides’ Shorts
    A ghost shrieking at my door in the middle of the night is bad enough, but now you’re telling me someone’s going to die, too?!
  9. Euripides’ Shorts
    The best thing about having twins is you don’t have to set a timer for switching breasts.
  10. Euripides’ Shorts
    Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has blown an o-ring.
  11. Euripides’ Shorts
    Is it “strain” or “don’t strain”? …Don’t strain?! Really?!? Uh oh.
  12. Euripides’ Shorts
    This guy could sell dog poop to a Basset Hound…a Basset Hound that collects rare and antique dog poops.
  13. Euripides’ Shorts
    got milk? …No, seriously, I just ate a habanero and my mouth is burning!
  14. Euripides’ Shorts
    If I can’t tinkle on the floor when it’s my birthday, when can I?
  15. Euripides’ Shorts
    As a great person once said, “Undies down: time to clown. Undies up: so’s the jig.”
  16. Euripides’ Shorts
    Sources: https://g.co/kgs/rdSvBc, https://www.lva.virginia.gov/faq/va.asp#three
  17. Euripides’ Shorts
    You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay on my parents’ couch anymore, Randall.
  18. Euripides’ Shorts
    You’re tellin’ me Dink-Dink has been Tick-Tock…THE WHOLE TIME?!?!?!
  19. Euripides’ Shorts
    One man’s sideboob is another man’s full frontal.
  20. Euripides’ Shorts

    Life is like a box of farts.

    Euripides’ Shorts replied to Turtleshark's topic in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    Stinky, and over too quickly.
  21. Euripides’ Shorts
    Apples to apples, I’m more of a peach guy.
  22. Euripides’ Shorts
    Just because I’m not wearing pants doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.
  23. Euripides’ Shorts
    Apples to apples, I’m more of a peach guy.
  24. Euripides’ Shorts
    The bifurcated turd whirled wistfully whilst I sat and spun above, blissfully.
  25. Euripides’ Shorts
    I’m three sheets to the wind, and by that I mean I’m naked.
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