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Euripides’ Shorts

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Everything posted by Euripides’ Shorts

  1. When I deuce The sluice Is twice as loose If I’ve had juice.
  2. She plugged my butt but she opened my soul.
  3. Call it “Urine-Us” or call it “Your-Anus;” there’s no way out of THIS astrological potty joke.
  4. Netflix and chill; Roku and butt stuff.
  5. Pop the top and roll the windows down; I just farted.
  6. All around the living room rug, the father chased the baby. The father thought ‘twas all in fun… Ralph! goes the baby.
  7. Believe me, I am drunker than I let on.
  8. When you said you love Balzac, I thought you meant something else.
  9. I wasn’t born in a barn, but I was conceived in one.
  10. I feel like donkey butt, and not in a good way.
  11. I didn’t MAKE anything. I just dispensed it.
  12. Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I hope you shaved down there.
  13. Not by the hair of my jinny-jin-genitals!
  14. When you said we were going to take a look under the hood, I thought you meant something else.
  15. If you ain’t embossed or spot-glossed, you can get lost.
  16. Oh, so all of a sudden it doesn’t count as wearing pants if they’re around my ankles?
  17. That’s not the sound of one hand clapping; I’m just masturbating.
  18. Pump yourself before you bump yourself.
  19. Be he alive or be he dead, I’ll grind on his boner and give him head.
  20. The front door’s free, but the back door will cost you a fancy dinner.
  21. Euripides’ Shorts

    The front door’s free, but the back door will cost you a fancy dinner.

    “Have you ever eaten here before? Let me explain how our menu works…”
  22. I may be handsome, but that doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing.
  23. Waiter…I ordered the cat food and this is filet mignon.
  24. Yesterday is a JPG. Tomorrow’s a PNG. Today is a GIF…so please send nudes.
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