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Content count
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Days Won
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Posts posted by Euripides’ Shorts
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Rhonda’s jaundice from embossing was far from spotless, but her bodice was intaglioed with awesome walrus polish, which, though frail and thoughtless, was all but flawless.
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If you don’t have anything nice to say, then you’re the Domme for me!
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Let’s knock knackwursts to quench my thirst. I’m so thirsty my head will burst.
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I can lie, but I still like big butts.
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I like big cravats and I cannot lie, so please don’t throw out my clown ties.
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Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
As long as you like pee. -
Whenever I see feet, I shoot skeet—and I don’t mean the clay kind.
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You can’t spell “bathtub” without “butt hab,” so call in the next 15 minutes and we’ll throw in a free ass habitat when you buy any bathroom fixture! Some restrictions apply.
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“I’m sending this food back because it’s too good,” said the ascetic.
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If you don’t X, I’ll Y you so hard you’ll have to Z out of your B-hole to CDEDBD duckies.
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It’s alright, baby—MY pink supermoon lasts all year!
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Jump-start my heart! Word of caution: I WILL fart.
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In Xanadu did Kubla Khan / A stately sex swing install.
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Here I sit so broken-hearted; tried to shit—and I did…in my pants.
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Thank you for investing in our outdoor summer popsicle vending business, Wet ‘n’ Ready. Needless to say, we’re very excited.
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If ghosts don’t poop, why is there so much ectoplasm in my bathroom?
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I taught I taw a Puddy tat. The lesson didn’t go over very well. No one knew what the hell tawing was and they were too young to have watched Seinfeld.
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Dress for success but don’t cover those breasts.
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Breaking off hundos and taking names: that’s how we play the comedy game.
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Don’t talk to me about FOMO! They call me the FOMO MOFO.
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Destroy your stomach with Aleve, heal it with Tums.
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To pee is human. To flush is divine.
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I’m so tired of being alone, but I don’t mind the daily masturbation.
Jason Mantzoukas’ Bubly flavor of choice is cherry.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
Jason Mantzoukas’ Bubly flavor of choice is cherry.