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Content count
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29
Posts posted by Euripides’ Shorts
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If you kill me, you’ll never find the treasure. Unless you’re a mortician.
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Milk, milk, lemonade; ‘round the corner, Bear Grylls waits.
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The better to slurp deez nuts, my dear.
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I don’t have bad breath. I have TERRIBLE breath.
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You can talk all you want about humans’ weak sense of smell but at the end of the day we still know who’s pooped themselves.
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Looks like they really did a number on you—a number two, that is!
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A ghost shrieking at my door in the middle of the night is bad enough, but now you’re telling me someone’s going to die, too?!
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The best thing about having twins is you don’t have to set a timer for switching breasts.
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Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has blown an o-ring.
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Is it “strain” or “don’t strain”? …Don’t strain?! Really?!? Uh oh.
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This guy could sell dog poop to a Basset Hound…a Basset Hound that collects rare and antique dog poops.
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got milk? …No, seriously, I just ate a habanero and my mouth is burning!
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If I can’t tinkle on the floor when it’s my birthday, when can I?
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As a great person once said, “Undies down: time to clown. Undies up: so’s the jig.”
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You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay on my parents’ couch anymore, Randall.
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You’re tellin’ me Dink-Dink has been Tick-Tock…THE WHOLE TIME?!?!?!
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Stinky, and over too quickly.
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Apples to apples, I’m more of a peach guy.
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One man’s sideboob is another man’s full frontal.
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Just because I’m not wearing pants doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.
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Apples to apples, I’m more of a peach guy.
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The bifurcated turd whirled wistfully whilst I sat and spun above, blissfully.
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I’m three sheets to the wind, and by that I mean I’m naked.
If you kill me, you’ll never find the treasure. Unless you’re a mortician.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
Or a proctologist.