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Posts posted by Euripides’ Shorts
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I once had two nips ‘til one slipped and jumped ship.
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A-T-T-I-C. I’m an amputee.
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Sir, this is an Arby’s drive-thru, and the “fart soup,” as you call it, is au jus.
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If my dick were dessert, it’d be strawberry shortcake.
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Waiter? Yes, I’ll have the fart soup with a side of turd, please.
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On second thought, just slap my ass. My name ain’t Sally.
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It’s not a shit-eating grin; I just got into the fudge pops.
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A clean butt is a sign of an empty mind.
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If mama ain’t happy, don’t look at me—I’m not the one who forgot her birthday, Dad!
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A butt by any other name would get me sprung.
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Welcome to Comedy Spank Bang! Oops, wrong podcast!
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There’s more than one way NOT to skin a cat. Why does THAT never come up?
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Be that as it may, I’m still your father, Luke.
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VBAC. She back.
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Why is my Internet so gull-darned slow?
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If I had a dollar for every time I crapped my pants in public, I might break even on all these diapers.
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Does it need a fresh coat of paint?
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Senior moments: Not just for seniors anymore.
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Don’t eat raw meat! That’s how cavemen went extinct.
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More comedy than you can shake a stick at.
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More comedy than you can shake your dick at. Believe me, I’ve tried.
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It’ll take you more than three licks to get to the center of MY Tootsie Roll Pop.
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Measure twice, cut thrice.
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If you don’t eat edge brownies, fuck you. They’re the best part.
Behold! The prodigal nip returneth.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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Behold! The prodigal nip returneth.