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Posts posted by Euripides’ Shorts
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Contrary to popular belief, fish DO fry in the kitchen.
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It takes two to tango, but three to clean up the mess I just made on the dance floor.
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This should win for the name alone…
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If boobs and butts were candy and nuts, the strip club would see a lot more of me.
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The buttsex was but sexy, but the prexy gave me apoplexy.
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“I’m a hill of beans?! YOU’RE a hill of beans! This whole courtroom’s a hill of beans!”
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Puss in boots? Don’t mind if I do!
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Who washes the dog washers?
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I’m no homeowner but I’ll DIY your rumpus room.
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If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be a sweetie and rewind American Graffiti.
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For Puritans, a raw-dog cream pie is called “regular.”
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They call me The Thanksgiving Dentist ‘cause I’m always filling cavities.
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It’s a matter of course. Intercourse!
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PFT, PFT, Cake Boss man, bake me a cake in one hour less than you need.
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Some of us CAN pee in a Mr. Coffee and get Taster’s Choice, DANA!
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You can’t spell “stink” in Italian without “P U.”
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Peeeeeeeee-YEW that’s some stank!
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Dear Hearts player: Tricks are for kids
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Whether you’re a grower or whether you’re a shower, please yank those beads like you’re startin’ a mower.
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Red on yellow, kill a fellow. Red on brown, flush it down.
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When you said, “He went nuts,” I thought you meant something else.
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Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey fall in love with you.
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I wipe from a stand,
For I’ve sat for way too long.
Now I have hem’rrhoids.
orange juice in the morning, piss in the afternoon and beer at night
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
The mantra of Bear Grylls.