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Content count
1625 -
Joined
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Last visited
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Days Won
29
Posts posted by Euripides’ Shorts
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If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, all books would be tasty pornos.
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Let he who is without sin blow the first chunks from eating expired tuna.
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Is it just me, or would Peggy be the perfect moniker for a dominatrix?
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Rain, rain, go away. I’m jerking outdoors to Fifty Shades of Grey.
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If you’re duplicitous and you know it, he’s a really great guy, but seriously, fuck that asshole.
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If you’re stinky and you know it, shout, “Pee-yew!”
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If you’re stinky and you know it, take a bath!
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Slide into my DMs, preferably during your BMs.
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A baby dressed like a ghost is a booby.
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And don’t get me started on the general disregard for Whereforebastank…
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The dearth of your girth did not prepare me for that breech birth.
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All babies are fur babies.
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Excuse me, waiter? I ordered the sausage and this is somebody’s hot log.
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Pants were meant to be dropped. If they weren’t, my Glue Pants idea wouldn’t have bombed so hard.
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Brother, don’t bother with this, that, or the other. I’d rather weather Ethyl’s ether than bum a butt from paltry Peter.
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I'm late to be laid, so order me an Uber, preferably pre-paid, and a copy of MacGruber, and hope I don’t get waylaid on my path toward the puber, for the skies are looking grayed, and I can’t appear a boob, or…
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Scott’s hot bratwurst is a real thot-thirst.
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One beat
To hedge
And the furtive birdies scatter.
Â
On street
By ledge,
Hear the myriad raindrops splatter.
Â
One meat,
Two veg’,
And a sack to hold the latter.
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What’s the thing we always do that’s fun for you and me? I-N-T… E-R-C… O-U-R-S-E!Â
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I'm late to be laid, so order me an Uber, preferably pre-paid, and a copy of MacGruber, and hope I don’t get waylaid.
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Baby, you know I’d be up in them guts if I weren’t social distancing.
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I’m late to be laid, so order me an Uber, preferably pre-paid.
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You don’t have to poop-scoop your dog’s doops; just keep that shit out of my chicken coop.
Snips and snails and puppy dog tails: that’s all I saw when that mobile pet store collided with that barbershop.
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Snips and snails and puppy dog tails: that’s all I saw when that mobile pet store collided with that barbershop.