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Posts posted by Euripides’ Shorts
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Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. How many people question a pepper plant that grows peppers pre-pickled?
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Squeaky to bed and stinky to rise: looks like someone got lucky last night.
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Shut the front door while you shut the fuck up.
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Use a Wet One on me, baby, ‘cause I am wiped.
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What if I told you…this isn’t a peg leg?
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Whose dick do I have to suck to get a Western omelette around here? Asking for a friend.
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Am I the only one who thinks poop doesn’t smell that bad?
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You might want to consider it. I know someone who has rhythm and a partner and they’re very content.
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Wait, is this Steve B. from Cleveland?! That guy with his dog fights! I told him the same thing. Wouldn’t listen.
Then he brings in a Newfoundland and is like, “Hey! Get a load of this guy! He’s big enough, right?”
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I’m not as skunk as you drunk thunk wunk, Occifer.
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Don’t mind the dogs; the human daycare is just through those doors.
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Let’s make heynong while the sun shines. After that, tune in for Heynong After Dark.
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Be that as it mayonnaise, I mustard relish our thyme together. Lettuce ketchup.
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When you’re getting sloppy seconds and you feel something beckon—gonorrhea!
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Hickory penis-ry dock! They censored the name of my cock.
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Your hard head feels so good against my wet brain.
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I just bought my copy of With a Vodka-Soaked Tampon Up Your Asshole: The Scott Aukerman Story by Paul F. Tompkins. It’s a real gem! Highly recommended.
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This fart convention is a lot of hot air.
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An ‘i’ for an eye makes the whole world look really surprised.
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When you said you stuck your poker in a glory hole during that glass-blowing seminar, I thought you meant something else.
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So THAT’s why all my comedy gigs bomb so hard out there!
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Is scrapbooking still a thing? Asking for a friend.
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. How many people question a pepper plant that grows peppers pre-pickled?
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
I do, for one.