Do squats count as butt stuff? Asking for a friend.

[Do squats count as butt stuff? Asking for a friend.]

Do squats count as butt stuff? Asking for a friend.

[I tried a glory hole for the first time and burned my dick off. Frankly I don’t see what all the fuss is about.]

https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/4mfoet/til_the_term_glory_hole_originated_in_glass/

[I tried a glory hole for the first time and burned my dick off. Frankly I don’t see what all the fuss is about.]

I tried a glory hole for the first time and burned my dick off. Frankly I don’t see what all the fuss is about.

[Spray before you go, but never go to a donkey show.]

Spray before you go, but never go to a donkey show.

[And the Heynong shall become the Hey-o, and the Hey-o the Heynong.]

And the Heynong shall become the Hey-o, and the Hey-o the Heynong.

[If this relationship is going to work, I need uninterrupted time to twerk.]

If this relationship is going to work, I need uninterrupted time to twerk.

[Fat-bottomed geodes, you make the rock collecting world go round.]

Fat-bottomed geodes, you make the rock collecting world go round.

[I came, I saw, I pissed my pants.]

I came, I saw, I pissed my pants.

[Some people use the TV as a babysitter, but I just use it to watch babysitter porn.]

Some people use the TV as a babysitter, but I just use it to watch babysitter porn.

[Poop dipe, wipe-wipe, swipe right.]

Poop dipe, wipe-wipe, swipe right.

[I had a dream Scott and I were neighbors but when I came over he got really pissed.]

I had a dream Scott and I were neighbors but when I came over he got really pissed.

[You were right: raising this baby is way harder than pulling out!]

You were right: raising this baby is way harder than pulling out!

[Okay, I’ll say it: John Lennon’s voice leaves much to be desired.]

Okay, I’ll say it: John Lennon’s voice leaves much to be desired.

[When you offered to tell me about your sex life “from soup to nuts,” I thought you meant something else.]

When you offered to tell me about your sex life “from soup to nuts,” I thought you meant something else.

[Whoever said poop is all fun and games never had anal fissures.]

Whoever said poop is all fun and games never had anal fissures.

[Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, “Be sure to titrate those monkeys over ten days.”]

Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, “Be sure to titrate those monkeys over ten days.”

[I can give you a ride to the donkey show but you have to bring your own ping pong balls.]

I can give you a ride to the donkey show but you have to bring your own ping pong balls.

[If you think pulling out is inconvenient, just wait ‘til you have a baby.]

If you think pulling out is inconvenient, just wait ‘til you have a baby.

[My name is Oedipus and I want my mommy.]

My name is Oedipus and I want my mommy.

[I have no interest in boobies, blue-footed or otherwise.]

I have no interest in boobies, blue-footed or otherwise.

[Time is money; poop is funny.]

Time is money; poop is funny.

[If you can’t take the poop jokes, get out of the airwaves.]

If you can’t take the poop jokes, get out of the airwaves.

[It’s time for catchphrase submitters to unionize.]

9 hours ago, Paula F. Momkins said:

TootyBut for Union Prez

Seconded.

[Whoever named blueberries really phoned it in.]

Whoever named blueberries really phoned it in.

[Baby, are you a porpoise? Because you got a killer blowhole.]

Baby, are you a porpoise? Because you got a killer blowhole.