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Content count
1625 -
Joined
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Last visited
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Days Won
29
Posts posted by Euripides’ Shorts
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I want to meet the asshole who is actually saying, “Brrr!” when it’s cold.
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Is my dick really that small or is it these Coke-bottle glasses?
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Why jack when you can Jill?
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Rinse me with water and toss me in the recycling—I’m out.
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While Daddy’s away, Mommy will play bridge with her friends.
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What’s delicious and not nutritious? Most foods.
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Quit scratching your nails on that chalkboard so I can squeak this polystyrene.
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It looks like pea soup but it’s snot.
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Chocolate chip cookie dough? I hardly know ye!
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I thought Se-Seven-en was a German instructional video on counting. Boy was I wrong.
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The good news is you’re not getting any dumber. The bad news is you’ve been dumb the whole time.
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Baby, are your feet tired? ‘Cause you’ve been in that walker for over an hour.
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At the porn store I pay cash; then I go home and mash.
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You say “bumping uglies” like it’s a bad thing.
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Rooty-tooty, fresh and fruity, stick that clyster in my booty.
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“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” the door sign read.
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You can’t spell “peanut butter” without “pee butt.”
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References:
Dirty Dancing
Footloose
Breakin’ -
If a movie’s about dancing its title has to look handwritten and be either red, pink, or purple. End of story.
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Did I stutter?! No, seriously, I have a speech disorder and short-term memory loss.
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8 hours ago, Slappywhite said:Congrats! I've read a ton of your entries, and you are a funny motherfucker!
Seconded.
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Be your best self, poop your best dress slacks.
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Deez nuts are an aphrodisiac.
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I put on women’s underwear one leg-hole thingy at a time, just like everybody else.
Baby, don’t do me like that! It feels better from behind.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
Baby, don’t do me like that! It feels better from behind.