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Posts posted by Euripides’ Shorts
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The average adult does a 1.125 at each restroom break.
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Let’s get topical!
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When you’re headin’ into first and you feel somethin’ burst—Achilles rupture.
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You say “French cuff;” I say “buttonless freedom hole.”
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You say “French door;” I say “freedom peeper.”
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You say “potato;” I say “freedom tuber.”
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Boston’s best basters bossed a bass master dastardly
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Border wall?! I hardly know her!
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Skeetin’ ain’t cheatin’.
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I’ll scratch your back if you scratch Meineke off this muffler I stole.
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Hit me, baby, one more time…aaand bust.
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Slap that damn mosquito while I roll you this burrito.
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Give Joss the toss or tell Peter he can eat her.
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Roses are readily available in a variety of colors.
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Five bucks gets you in; punching a bouncer in the face gets you out.
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People who sing the “bum bum bum” to “Sweet Caroline” will be thrown in jail.
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The more you think about it, the truer it gets: mouth is the butthole of the mind.
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The farcical marshmallow parsed the sparse, harsh fellow’s icicle bicycle.
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The Podfather here to make you an offer you CAN refuse but shouldn’t—rip-roarin’ comedy!
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Comedy comin’ at you faster than shit through a goose!
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Doghot! Up what’s?
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Ain’t no party like a perpetual motion party, ‘cause a perpetual motion party…well, you know.
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Hell hath no fury like a loud-ass horn.
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If this “hokey pokey” is so important to you, Cecil, put your OWN damn hands in!
Doesn’t matter if it’s clean, vacuum up that jellybean with your mouth. Five-second rule.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
Doesn’t matter if it’s clean, vacuum up that jellybean with your mouth. Five-second rule.