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Content count
1625 -
Joined
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Last visited
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Days Won
29
Posts posted by Euripides’ Shorts
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This just in: the tip!
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If you’re down to clown, you’re in the right place.
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A good riddle is like an exorcist boxer: it beats the hell outta me!
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You say potato… Round here we call ‘em dirt peaches.
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Peanut butter?! I hardly know ‘er!
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Is that a hand-sewn lockstitch seam in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
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Leaf blower?! I hardly know ‘er!
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Hazelnut? I hardly know ‘er!
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Daddy, it’s not fried! It’s Shake and Bake, and I’m hell!
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Bros before hoes, but hose before clothes—otherwise you’ll get your clothes wet with all that hose water.
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Bang-bang comedy, to all welcome—back to forward this hear.
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Slowpoke says, “Dicks out for Harambe!”
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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I was tripping balls so don’t ask me what happened after that.
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I don’t poop when I pee; I only pee when I poo. If you gotta problem with it, here’s a problem for YOU: I just did both on your floor.
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Tickle your pickles and flick all your nickels: it’s time we got these coin-op cucumber harvesters up and running.
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Beatin’ ain’t cheatin’.
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What’s new, pusssycat? Well for starters, it’s just “cat” now.
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Cry me a river, build me a dam, and get me some of that hydroelectricity I’ve heard so much about.
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Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em! It’s the only way those bees will learn.
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I like big butts and I CAN lie.
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Go get on that dromedary; here’s some funny commentary.
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A few screws loose when I hit the juice, but I never met a man who loved a food fight truce.
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If it were easy, it’d be your mom.
I went to the woods because I wished to poop deliberately, and not, when I die, remember that I shat my pants at the company picnic.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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Solid gold