El Chico Malo

This Fall, think about my Balls...and this Autumn, consider my Bottom.

Where are my boots with the fur? What’s the point of wearing my apple bottom jeans if I can’t wear my boots with the fur?

Excuse me sir...did the chef spit in my food? I’m not tasting any spit...could you ask him to—you know what, forget it. I’ll do it myself.

I asked my Urologist if he was a Whitesnake fan and he said he was more of a Sting man.

Mmm that’s nice. You smell that, son? That’s called a fart.

Seeing Is Believing, Peeing Is Relieving

It’s a real Rumble-in-the-Jungle and by Jungle I mean my Bunghole

Do you remember that weird Mr. Clean commercial where he’s mopping the floor all seductively? Remember how creepy that was? Anyways...happy birthday sweetheart. Love, Grandpa.

Actually, Saturday night’s not alright for fighting...are you free Sunday?

You can’t beat your meat on Sesame Street! C’mon Grover we’ve been OVER this!

Thomas is A Tank Engine, I wouldn’t go as far as calling him THE Tank Engine

Damn Garfield...back at it again with the pan of lasagna

There's Smooching Teachers Under The Football Bleachers

Maybe the real catchphrase is all the friends we made along the way

Look pal, it's time to face the music. The stage is that way. Turn around, Gary. Turn aroun—oh okay I don't think you can hear me...

“I’m getting drunk!” yelled the tipsy skunk

Look, as a Chinese-American comedian I must inform you that no, I haven’t gone pee pee in your Coke. I went pee pee in the kitchen sink just like everybody else.

Hello M’am, I’m sorry to bother you but I just need a moment of your time. Tell me, are there any Party Rockers in the House Tonight?

My Downstairs Rash Looks Like Corned Beef Hash

Welcome to the Police Force, son. You've met our homicide detective and resident penis sketch artist, Dick Tracy?

Wait a minute...you’re telling me a butt made these cheeks?

Did you see the Comedy Central Roast of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man? It was delicious!

“Doggie Poops Are Nature’s Candy!” yelled my crazy Uncle Randy

While I appreciate these tasteful nudes, I felt I was pretty clear that I wanted pictures of Spiderman.

I’m afraid you’ve Banged your last Bang, Funny Guy!