El Chico Malo

Did you hear about how on the ninth month of the Muslim calendar, a low-resolution videogame ape makes random appearances? It’s the Polygon Donkey Kong Ramadan Phenomenon.

Greedo in a Speedo eating a Big Sloppy Burrito?! No wonder Han Solo shot him!

Flick A Booger At The Wall. Will It Stick Or Will It Fall? Hours Later, Old And Dry, Will It Be Lunch For A Fly?

Bart Cut A Fart And Blew Homer’s House Apart

How Many Rumps Could One Chump Pump If A One-Pump-Chump Pumped Rumps?

They won’t tell you this, but YMCA stands for Your Mom’s Curvy Ass

This Is The Church, This Is The Steeple, This Is My Weiner and This Is My Peehole!

Down The Hatch And Out My Crotch, I’m Gonna Go Pee Pee, Do You Wanna Watch?

Oh the weather outside is frightful. And the fire is also frightful. I’m in Hell.

An oversized tie-dye t-shirt with Bart Simpson passing you a blunt that says “I Can See Clearly Now My Brain Is Gone” is perfectly acceptable attire for casual Friday, I don’t understand why you’re firing me.

Simon Cowell’s kitchen towel is covered in blood from a murder most foul

In-Between My Legs Looks Like Scrambled Eggs

Why did the Chicken cross the road? To use the toilet and drop a load!

Thick Dicks Sink Ships

I Whispered To Your Sister and She Wants Me To Fist Her

I’m a Loser, I’m a Boozer, I drive a PT Cruiser

You Spilled-a The Soup-a On My Fupa

Your Butt Filled With Lettuce Is My New Kinky Fetish

The Hardy Boys were hardly boys (when they traded condoms for all their toys...)

"I got a hole in one!" said the fat man with the two donuts at the golf course

Did you have to...did you have to...did you have to let it linger? Well what did I expect when you told me “Pull My Finger!”

‪If you say “Bloody Mary” three times in the mirror your wife will come in the bathroom and ask why you’re drunk at 7 am‬

Monkey in the middle? Subway sandwiches you've outdone yourself!

YES she's my cousin and YES she's my wife and YES we're in love and we're married for life!

Slow and steady wins the race, and that race is NASCAR baby.