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Stone Cold Jizz Austin

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Everything posted by Stone Cold Jizz Austin

  1. Wham bam thankyou sam-i-am. I shan't stick around for green eggs and ham.
  2. It's an oldie, but a goodie, said grandpa with a woody.
  3. At the end of the day, it's all about how much hummus you can scoop with your dong.
  4. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though I'm tied up in a pyramid scheme.
  5. I'll say it again, I don't want to fight, put on your damn speedo, and go fly that kite.
  6. A picture is worth a thousand words, but this big bird sex tape aint worth a damn.
  7. I'll have a vodka martini... shaken, not stirred with your penis.
  8. Stone Cold Jizz Austin

    Eat, sleep, shart, repeat.

    Eat, sleep, shart, repeat.
  9. They say not to shit where you eat. Worst birthday dinner ever, dad.
  10. I came, I saw, I came again. These shorts are ruined.
  11. Give up velcro? I'd rather let Big Bird park his jeep on my face.
  12. Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away... now it looks as though drink purchase is required.
  13. I'll have a vodka martini... shaken, not stirred with your dong.
  14. Have you seen that new gardening segment on Fox? Talk about rake news.
  15. Stone Cold Jizz Austin

    No one bones like Gaston.

    No one bones like Gaston.
  16. Forget about the assless chaps, how bout that chapless ass?
  17. Stone Cold Jizz Austin

    Keep calm and suck it.

    Keep calm and suck it.
  18. And I know when that hotline rings, it's time for me to sling some peen.
  19. Be the change that you wish to see in the vending machine.
  20. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you’ll be so fucking late for work.
  21. One for the monkeys, two for Jon Snow, three to eat shreddies, and four to do blow
  22. Sweater vest sales 101. Always Be Clothing.
  23. She was all that and a bag of chips. Of course we were all dressed for the annual salt and vinegarage sale.
  24. Well slap my ass and call me Thomas, welcome to Tomedy Bang Bang
  25. Asses to asses, butts to butts, time to put the fun back in funeral.
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