GrahamS.

I don’t know what’s “really” him and how much he’s playing a character, so I take it all as tongue-in-cheek. His Prom Night 2 episode included a surprisingly effective plea for tolerance.

Or are YOU the anonymoos Michael Bay who’s been stalking him and are trying to play mind games?

I don’t think this film has been posted yet, which I found surprising. But I could be wrong. i’ll keep it short: You get to see The Rock play a primatologist who works with a gorilla who eventually mutates. Many Animals mutate. rampage ensues. The Rock uses sign language to communicate with animals. ‘Nuff said. There’s a good haiku in there somewhere.

Here’s the trailer. You get to see The Rock do some sign language here! ”GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Ok, thank you! That’s very helpful to know.

I think that RT scores inflate critics’ scores to be higher than the reviews themselves reflect if you read them (a 2 1/2 star review is shown as a “positive” review when it really just means that the film is ok). I think Metacritic often lowers the scores the critics give (for a three-star review from a paper, for example, Metacritic lists the film as getting 75%). While that’s mathematically correct, once again it doesn’t truly reflect the opinion given. If I’m on the fence about seeing a film, I check both, but they’re both flawed In different ways. I kinda miss the days when I’d just check the local paper—maybe Rolling Stone or EW for fun—and see the movie based on (or despite of) their opinions. If I’d listened to them, I never would have seen Point Break (1991). I’m cheating a little because I was only 16 at the time (not 20) but I remember every review I saw back then said it was dumb and gave it the equivalent of two stars. It was/is absolutely ludicrous, but that’s what makes it great! other films that I like that critics/the public seem to hate: Hot Rod Wet Hot American Summer Observe and Report. People REALLY seem to hate this one, and I admit it goes too far sometimes, but I thought it was ballsy , dark, unique and funny.

Also, Phantasm and ALL of its sequels are in a Joe Bob Briggs marathon that’s streaming on Shudder.

Thanks! Quick question: I heard there’s a suicide in it (or at least one). Is it graphic or campy and over the top? The preview looks totally bonkers but I just want to have an idea of what I’m about to subject myself to. if my question leads to a spoiler answer, I don’t care. Spoil away!

It’s actually streaming on the Joe Bob Briggs Drive-In series on Shudder, which is a great series. He also did a deep dive into Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II and the entire Phantasm series. Even if the movie he selects is not your cup of tea, Joe Bob Briggs is awesome.

The more I think about it, the more I LOVE THIS FILM. It truly gives you want from the premise and is willing to get surprisingly nasty. I still think Larry Cohen would have been a better director (who made such B classics as It’s Alive, Q: The Winged Serpent, and The Stuff) but Sidney Lumet does direct the shit out of the DeMornay/Johnson cat-and-mouse scenes and seems to be having more fun when things DO get ugly. I’ll see your observations, muttnik, and raise you these ones: —Stephen Lang looks like Sideshow Bob from The Simpsons come to life with a mustache. Or if not Sideshow, you have to at least admit that he looks cartoonish. —I loved Jack Warden in this. (*spoiler here*) I just wished his character had taken advantage of the ETERNITY he had to escape. —The climax is bonkers. It Just rolls up on you and is like WHAM! The end. I choose to be more optimistic but you’re probably right. But I believe in movie magic! I will probably watch this another time or two before it leaves HBO. Alright, I’ll be real: I’d watch it again tonight! For those who haven’t watched it yet, I would advise against watching the preview if you want to be surprised (even though I posted the YouTube Link). The upside is that it boils down all the movie’s craziness to two minutes, the downside is that it has spoilers. I would recommend watching the scene from the movie (which comes around the 40-minute mark) I posted instead. You can also see Stephen Lang in his full mustache Sideshow Bob-esque glory in that clip, so that’s a bonus!

Cool. Couldn’t be sure from the trailer. Just curious... have either of you watched Fateful Findings yet?

Or Nicolas Cage!

I agree Color of Night was SUPER exploitative, but it was so campy (right from Its opening suicide) that it bore no resemblance to reality whatsoever (it felt like the filmmakers didn't have any idea how therapy worked and didn’t bother to research it at all). I can’t speak to this film—other than the section I saw and the trailer—but the vibe of this one seemed to be a muted “we’re making a serious work of art.” I’m sure that could result in some belly laughs, but the scene where young Dakota Fanning stares at her mother’s bloody, dead body bugged me. I’ve also never really liked movies where children are murderers (there are a few exceptions —like the bonkers remake of Pet Semetary...hmm, that one might be a possibility...), but that’s just me. To sum up, campy exploitation I’m OK with, dull exploitation I’m not. If this film descends into camp, I might be persuaded to give it another shot. If Robert DeNiro’s character were played by Al Pacino at full volume, I’d definitely watch it.

Thanks! That’s helpful.

I tried watching this and got turned off by the grisly suicide at the opening. It just seemed like it was going to be exploitative and bad-bad rather than fun bad. Does it improve as it goes on (relatively speaking)?

I work in the public school system, so it would be frowned upon, to say the least. Also, as a public servant, while I am not overly conservative on how I spend my money (I did see Hobbs & Shaw in 4DX, after all, which cost almost $25), I just don’t want to use my hard-earned money to support Fateful Findings, which I never would have watched ever, if HDTGM wasn’t coming to Seattle (which, again, I am very excited about). My love of bad movies has limits. i also don’t want to get into the ethical debate of Pornhub because that’s just a massively complex issue, as theworstbuddhist pointed out in his previous post. I will say though, as a Seattle native who has friends who work at Amazon (and as someone who realizes that cities are meant to change)...fuck Amazon and fuck Jeff Bezos for what he’s done to this city. Do I think change is bad? No. Do I think people who work for Amazon are bad? Of course not. Do I think Amazon’s change is bad for Seattle? Yes. Congrats to New York for keeping them out. Sorry for my soapbox rant. Have a good day, all!

Haha! You mean I shouldn’t use pornhub in public? I guess I’ll have to rethink my life choices. Thanks for the info!

Philip Kaufman. Co-creator of Indiana Jones. Writer of The Outlaw Josey (I almost typed Jose—that would have been a very different film) Wales. Director of Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), The Right Stuff, The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Directed Twisted in 2004. This movie is STACKED with talent. Ashley Judd, Andy Garcia, Samuel L. Jackson. All of the supporting roles are filled with excellent character actors like Titus Welliver and David Straitharn. YET... I have more respect for Birdemic than this movie. They tried with Birdemic and at least made a minimally minor cult classic. This movie DOES NOT try and it is JAW-DROPPINGLY TERRIBLE. It is as if someone decided to make a Se7en-style rip-off TV movie for Spike TV with the best actors and worst script ever. It is a movie that made all the critics comment (On RT’s page about this movie, which gives it a critical approval rating of 1%) that they can’t believe this movie is from the same man who made The RIght Stuff (it also got an audience approval rating of 31%). It is terrible. It is hilarious. It is amazing. It makes Lawrence Kasdan’s adaptation of Dreamcatcher look good. It is currently streaming on HBO. here is the preview: this would make a great episode, but be prepared to have your minds blown. BY CLICHES.

I just HAVE to quote a couple of choice lines of dialogue. “Killing with gloves on would be like fucking with a rubber.” “EXHIBIT A: YOUR SKIN UNDERNEATH MY NAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I love the show too, but good question. I have tickets for both this show and the second show. The movie they’re showing for the late show—The Visitor— is available to stream for free if you have a Seattle library card. It can be found on the Hoopla App, which works with most streaming devices (fire sticks, Roku, etc.) and on computers. Just FYI.

I am in the same boat. Apparently it is only available on pornhub (according to a HDTGM post). It’s not even available to borrow from the library as a dvd. I am apprehensive—to say the least—on streaming it off of pornhub. I have no idea how safe it is. Chunks of it are available on YouTube and you can see the whole movie there too, but some random guy is giving a commentary track all over it. And I’m not gonna give Neil (or is it Neal?) Breen $25 to own this. no forking way,

OK, sidebar. I also wanted to say that from Eastbound and Down, Django Unchained, Cold In July and other recent work, Don Johnson has become one of the unsung MVPs of supporting actors (in my opinion). Obviously, he’s getting hired, but I haven’t heard a lot of people (in general) really sing his praises. To an actor whom I thought for too long as Crockett from Miami Vice, I apologize. Ok, I’ll shut up now.

It would make an excellent episode whatever your opinion of it. The sequels would as well, since they are still balls-to-the-wall crazy even if they’re not as good.

RIP, Peter Fonda. Rewatched The Limey recently and he gave a great performance in that.

Like Snorting a Kilo of Raw Cocaine: The Four-Star 4DX Hobbs & Shaw Xperience: A Super-Cerebral Essay by Graham Erik Stevenson (that’s right, I used my full fucking name)! When future generations look for a work of art that defines what humanity truly is—the generations of our children, our children’s children, their children after that and so forth—they will stand in awe of Hobbs & Shaw and will weep that they missed the opportunity to see it in the glory of 4DX (unless the New Beverly will be running a 4DX revival house at that point? I don’t know. I’m not psychic and I don’t have kids). But you, you can! I’ve tweeted and called Paul about my 4DX experience, but since my call may have been somewhat stilted overlong and unairable, this is my final push to bore—I mean, INFORM the public about this life-altering experience that’s probably not advisable to undergo if you’re elderly, pregnant, have a urinary tract infection, are seizure prone, or are easily nauseated and have been known to projectile vomit. This essay will list what the 4DX experience was, step by step, and I have to say that I was grateful that it was not as invasive as the Feel-A-Round depicted in Kentucky Fried Movie. Imagine Captain EO or a ride at Universal Studios where your seat vibrates, jerks and whirls you around for 80-90% of the runtime—while “lightning” strobe effects pop off to the left of the screen for no real reason intermittently throughout— and you start to get a sense of the magic that IS 4DX: Hobbs & Shaw, but that is only a part of it. Now imagine a technology SO SOPHISTICATED that when the film opens with a split scene of Hobbs riding a motorbike and Shaw driving a car (or perhaps it’s reversed—fuck it, I can’t remember) the vibration UNDER YOUR ASS vibrates in two distinctive patterns, mimicking BOTH the motorbike AND the car. Are you transported yet? NOW imagine that whenever the characters are outside and the camera is whipping around, air is BLASTING into your face, convincing you that this is the most wind-swept action film EVER. This includes the scene where The Rock is semi-making out with Vanessa Kirby, and it includes a whiff of perfume. IT IS MAJESTIC. Follow me down this rabbit hole of delights as your seat tilts and vibrates ESPECIALLY hard during action scenes and hits you in the back—right above your right kidney—intermittently and gently, like it’s trying to give you a half-assed massage. Also, when you least expect it, wind blasts out from under your leather chair, making the flaps twitch angrily against your legs like a drugged, mute animal’s tail. For all I know, perhaps the establishment did put real animals under each and every chair, just to make illusion come to life. Finally, during the climactic fist fight sequence in a lightning storm, picture water falling from the ceiling in a rain-like mist, completing the fantasy that you really are out in the rain. All in all, it was a profoundly spiritual experience, one that I was also thankful not to have gotten an ear or other bacterial infection from. If they can do this for Hobbs & Shaw, imagine what they could do for a 50 Shades of Gray sequel/prequel. Imagine what they could do for humanity. (Finally, my east coast college creative writing degree is put to good use!) P.S. If requested, I am willing to post the H&S preview with an attempt to break it down with the various 4DX effects.