Slappywhite

The queen bee may rule the hive, but she still makes just 79 cents for every $1 a male drone bee earns.

If you Oingo my Boingo, I'll fister your sister!

There's no "I" in team, but there are TWO in finger-fucking and fisting. Sooooooo, that's somethin', huh?

Show me an honest politician, and I'll show you my balls! Honestly, you can just skip that first part.

I've evolved. So now I just say, "Dirty Knees." then lift my shirt.

Congrats! I've read a ton of your entries, and you are a funny motherfucker!

What has two thumbs, and put both of them in his butt?!?!?! THIS GU..., well, you'll just have to trust me on this one.

Marquess of Queensberry Rule #1 states: No slappy my pappy, or I'll fister your sister.

Give a man a fish, and he eats for one day. Teach a man to fish, and eventually his wife will leave him, and then you can fuck his ex.

I always thought the song was Tinkle Tinkle Little Star, but it turns out that was only at our family piss parties. Frankly, I'm a little pissed.

"And THAT'S the way the cookie crumbles!', my mom said while showing me her Kegel exercises.

Cool Hand Luke gave the best handies!

Nobody puts Baby in a corner!", he yelled at The Blair Witch.

Take your stinking vines off me, you damned dirty grape!" {Tense moment in the California Raisin documentary}

Anyone who says, "There's no crying in baseball!" has never taken a grounder in the testicles.

"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up." Then Gloria Swanson spread her ass cheeks as wide as she could.

I stink, therefore I definitely shit my pants.

Peter Piper pickled his pecker, or at least it tastes that way.

Rub a dub dub, 3 men jerked off in my tub!

Here's looking at you, kid." said Humphrey Bogart as he leered at me over the bathroom stall.

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." -Walt Disney said to start one of his famous piss parties.

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The Pessimist Sees Difficulty In Every Opportunity. The Optimist Sees Opportunity In Every Difficulty. The Peeping Tom sees you jerking off a lot.