ICantBelieveItsNotBetter

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When it rains, it rains, penis from heaven

If you're looking for comedy, you're in the right place! You're at the Comedy Directory. Dial 1 for Alt Comedy...

Game respect game. I hope this makes it on the show.

Garçon! I'll have the funnel cake and a pint of whole milk, to start

My Oysters're Sweatin', Et cetera, Yeehaw Or MOSEY, for short

I hope you like bad bagels because I'm a bad everything bagel

Mt. Doom is short for Mount Me And Doo Me In The Butt

Which came first: the chicken, or me, choking that chicken

Let us bow our heads and comede

I get so much respect, I tell ya. I get so much respect that when the Queen knighted me she asked me to put my sword on HER shoulder -a shitty standup bit I did on stage once but I will relinquish all copyrights to-

Business in the front, party in the front, these banks are running weird promos these days

Every sock I wear is a sock puppet that gets off on being treated like this

You, Me, A Couple Sloe Buck's Fizzes, Little Land of Make Believe?

Maya Angelou had a quote: "I've learned that people will forget what you said," and I can't remember the rest but I remember it made me feel horny