ICantBelieveItsNotBetter

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When it rains, it rains, penis from heaven

If you're looking for comedy, you're in the right place! You're at the Comedy Directory. Dial 1 for Alt Comedy...

Game respect game. I hope this makes it on the show.

Garçon! I'll have the funnel cake and a pint of whole milk, to start

My Oysters're Sweatin', Et cetera, Yeehaw Or MOSEY, for short

I hope you like bad bagels because I'm a bad everything bagel

Mt. Doom is short for Mount Me And Doo Me In The Butt

Which came first: the chicken, or me, choking that chicken

Let us bow our heads and comede

I get so much respect, I tell ya. I get so much respect that when the Queen knighted me she asked me to put my sword on HER shoulder -a shitty standup bit I did on stage once but I will relinquish all copyrights to-

Business in the front, party in the front, these banks are running weird promos these days

Every sock I wear is a sock puppet that gets off on being treated like this

You, Me, A Couple Sloe Buck's Fizzes, Little Land of Make Believe?

Maya Angelou had a quote: "I've learned that people will forget what you said," and I can't remember the rest but I remember it made me feel horny

Laughs ahoy! Shoot for the starboard!

I'm bumping this shamelessly. I stand by my catchphrase submissions and I won't let them be washed away by the sands of time so callously.

If you play this podcast backwards at half-speed, you can hear Satan interview a small business owner

Time flies... Time flies are a terrible danger to any time traveler transporting raw produce.

Icy London, Icy France, the possibilities are endless with my mega freeze ray 9000

Here we are in the studio where bad ideas become paywalled spin-off podcasts.

As they said in Yeast Germany, Glutentag

I don't really care if it's against the forum rules, I think this is a killer catchphrase so I'm gonna bump it.

Leave the mask on but let them titties out

Much like a sentient entree that gets pleasure from being eaten, I must say 'thank you for having me.'