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Posts posted by Attila the Hyundai
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Linguine? GET THA FUCK OUUUAAAGGGGGHHHH-ta heeya!
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Sweet treats on my sweet meats makes the bees buzz my fuzz.
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Once I found a husband I chopped dem titties right off.
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The clerk at the DMV denied my vanity plate request for âKNT FKRâ even though Iâm a huge Kant and Faulkner fan.
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Couplets are for suckers.
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Get bent. Repent. Rinse. Repeat.
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Welcome to Comedy Ding! Dong!, the show where we talk to interesting doorbells.
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Iâm not the one who wants to get nasty, Mr. Thicke.
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If youâre happy and you know it, rub one out.
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If youâre happy and you know it, donât rub it in.
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How many roads must a man walk down / Before he gets picked up for hitch hiking?
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Two girls one cup? What kind of beer pong tournament is this?
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Here comes a stinky but a goodie.
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A whole holeâs a whole lotta nothinâ at all.
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No, guys, Iâm literally colorblind.
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You can call me sir or mister; just donât call me when Iâm fucking your sister.
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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, will it shut the fuck up?
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If speculation about morality is wrong, I donât wanna be right.
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I feel the needâŚthe need for premature ejaculation.
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When I Sit, I Smell the Wee
from The Collected Poems of Attila the HyundaiWhen I sit, I smell the wee
My heart was too impatient
To let dribble,And now it lies, dry and fragrant,
Upon my new shorts,Â
Like pressèd flowers.â AtH
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Some wipe standing; some wipe sitting. Just donât wipe âtil youâre all done shitting.
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Jumpstart my heart! But donât fart in my car.
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John Bobbittâs got a busted tinkler; all Iâve gotâs this busted sprinkler.
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Shovel all the coal in,
Right into your colon!
Whoo-whoo, booty stuffinâ, there you are!
Get the fuck out of here; get into my car.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
Get the fuck out of here;Â get into my car.