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Friend of P

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Topics posted by Friend of P

  1.  

    This has been driving me insane

    By Friend of P, in General Earwolf

    • 0 replies
    • 8287 views
  2.  

    Nothings sadder than when you order Chinese take out for one and then you get home open up the bag and realize they gave you 3 sets of plastic ware 3 fortune cookies and enough napkins to supply a build a bear workshop with stuffing for maybe a full calen

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 543 views
  3.  

    Okay! So what if we take some bats and we breed them with some pigeons and we make some bigeons and then we take those and breed them with a kangaroo and then BAM! No more racism.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 333 views
  4.  

    Ever just have a fart so big that it’s actually a poop? oh prom.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 1 reply
    • 374 views
  5.  

    If “Jealousy, infidelity, envy Cheating to beating, envy and to the G they be the same thing” means what I think it does then I have no idea what OutKast is talking about.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 358 views
  6.  

    If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day if you turn a man into a fish what the fuck was that?! back up dude! no get back! You JUST turned Jeremy into a fish! What do you mean don’t be afraid?! I don’t know man .. I just don’t know you anymore

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 337 views
  7.  

    If you ever have to have a friend on your side when getting into a bar fight make sure your friend is a knife. You can’t stab a knife.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 354 views
  8.  

    pahk the cah in Hahvad Yahd more like park the car in Harvard yard im a tourist

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 441 views
  9.  

    Yo momma is so fat! that I’m genuinely worried about her health

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 373 views
  10.  

    Every time I go to a website I keep accepting their cookies. They don’t even care that I’m diabetic.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 382 views
  11.  

    I’m not an actor I just play one in the operating room.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 389 views
  12.  

    I’ve been taking photography classes I don’t want to be a photographer I just really enjoy hanging pictures up on strings In a poorly lit room.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 391 views
  13.  

    Football would be a much less dangerous sport if it were the teams goal to help each other get the ball to the other side.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 302 views
  14.  

    If your titties are tubby I’ll sprout a big chubby.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 309 views
  15.  

    I got a word of the day calendar but it’s in Alphabetical order and I think everyone is catching on.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 306 views
  16.  

    I got a car with all the bells and whistles Who would’ve thought you could buy a car with bells and whistles

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 347 views
  17.  

    I bought a Leesa mattress using promo code Bang Bang and saved a little over $100. Now I can buy more marijuana and smoke it while listening to comedy bang bang. Not a catchphrase just a testimonial.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 446 views
  18.  

    Head and shoulders tits and clits, tits and clits.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 317 views
  19.  

    The only time that it’s good to get the short end of the stick is when it’s going in your butt.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 316 views
  20.  

    Excuse me, waiter? There’s a cum in my soup.. so yes everything IS wonderful thanks for asking.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 324 views
  21.  

    A boob job sounds more like an occupation than an application.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 323 views
  22.  

    What does a responsible bartender have to do when a pregnant woman walks up to the bar and orders a drink? cardamom.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 316 views
  23.  

    When life gives you lemons buy some apples and butter, make a pie crust, get out the cinnamon, ginger and sugar, make a pie and fuck it.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 335 views
  24.  

    What’s this? What’s this? There’s semen everywhere. What’s this? There’s white stuff in my hair. What’s this? I can’t see out of my eyes. I must be creaming.

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 296 views
  25.  

    From rags to bitches one mans story of going from being homeless and living in a box to having hos on every block

    By Friend of P, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 302 views
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