When life gives you lemons buy some apples and butter, make a pie crust, get out the cinnamon, ginger and sugar, make a pie and fuck it.

[When life gives you lemons buy some apples and butter, make a pie crust, get out the cinnamon, ginger and sugar, make a pie and fuck it.]

When life gives you lemons buy some apples and butter, make a pie crust, get out the cinnamon, ginger and sugar, make a pie and fuck it. 

[What’s this? What’s this? There’s semen everywhere. What’s this? There’s white stuff in my hair. What’s this? I can’t see out of my eyes. I must be creaming.]

What’s this? What’s this? There’s semen everywhere. What’s this? There’s white stuff in my hair. What’s this? I can’t see out of my eyes. I must be creaming.

[From rags to bitches one mans story of going from being homeless and living in a box to having hos on every block]

From rags to bitches

one mans story of going from being homeless and living in a box to having hos on every block

[If you’ve got Adamantium claws then don’t wipe your ass angry]

If you’ve got Adamantium claws then don’t wipe your ass angry

[I’ll take you for a ride on my big green tractor and by big green tractor I mean big green penis. Hulk smash.]

I’ll take you for a ride on my big green tractor and by big green tractor I mean big green penis. Hulk smash.

[It was the worst of times it was the worst of times it was the age of foolishness it was the age of fools so long 2020]

It was the worst of times

it was the worst of times 

it was the age of foolishness 

it was the age of fools

so long 2020

[I’ll have the Dr. Seuss roll which contains one fish two fish red fish blue fish of course]

I’ll have the Dr. Seuss roll

which contains one fish two fish red fish blue fish of course 

 

 

[When you’re out of cattle to sacrifice a new born child should suffice]

When you’re out of cattle to sacrifice 

a new born child should suffice 

[If all the raindrops Were lemon drops and gumdrops we would have quite the ant problem]

If all the raindrops 
Were lemon drops and gumdrops we would have quite the ant problem 

 

[Two in the pink eye one in the stink eye those were the instructions from my doctor]

Two in the pink eye

one in the stink eye

those were the instructions from my doctor 

[Is that a dick in your pocket? or are you just happy to see me?]

Is that a dick in your pocket?

or are you just happy to see me?

[If you don’t have an issue stay the fuck away from my tissues]

If you don’t have an issue

stay the fuck away from my tissues

[Why are the episodes being released in batches]

I started listening to The new episode today before I realized that they were talking about it being Christmas Eve and then I realized that my phone started on the wrong episode.. i’m not complaining about a bunch of episodes to listen to but I’m going to listen to them all at once and then have nothing I have no self-control

[Mary had a little lamb I suppose she’s no longer vegan]

Mary had a little lamb

I suppose she’s no longer vegan

[How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck got a little bit of help from some friends?]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck got a little bit of help from some friends?

[The more drunk I get the harder it is to shit]

The more drunk I get 

the harder it is to shit 

[Don’t trust the B in the word plumbing.. it’s silent]

Don’t trust the B in the word plumbing.. it’s silent 

[Today’s episode will detonate after today’s catchphrase!]

Today’s episode will detonate after today’s catchphrase! 

[You can’t undo this Jessica! You can’t wash a mattress!]

You can’t undo this Jessica! You can’t wash a mattress! 

[I broke the fourth wall..I guess I won’t be getting that deposit back]

I broke the fourth wall..I guess I won’t be getting that deposit back 

[My nickname for my penis is the Star of Bethlehem... and just like the three Wisemen I came on an ass]

My nickname for my penis is the Star of Bethlehem... and just like the three Wisemen I came on an ass

[Not the mama! not the mama! said Maury.]

Not the mama! not the mama! said Maury.

[I rolled a joint once.. it turned into a giant ball.. I made a snowbro]

I rolled a joint once.. it turned into a giant ball.. I made a snowbro 

[Am I high? or all of these clocks in this clock store melting?]

Am I high? or all of these clocks in this clock store melting?

[A bird in the hand is worth two dicks in a bush.. sounds like a medical problem]

A bird in the hand is worth two dicks in a bush.. sounds like a medical problem