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Content count
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Posts posted by F-Word Scissorhands
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I am known by many names. âMeatheadâ, âShitheadâ, âBaldyâ âBitch Titsâ, and âJoe Roganâ, are just a few.
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Mr. Aukerman you are charged with manslaughter but, to be more inclusive, the court will rename the offense personslaughter.
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Meat you can feel OK about. We only slaughter chickens that are certified to have posted racist memes on their social media.
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Iâm old schooled and a home boy. Homeschooled, you could say.
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The dried grape industry is raisin money
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âTwo plus two equals fourâ!? Listen to yourself! Thatâs just what THEY want you to think.Â
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There was an awful incident recently where a woman was deep-fried by her husband. Truly a battered wife.
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There may be possible side effects. In some cases there may even be impossible side effects.
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When you get older you canât just go from one sugar daddy to the next anymore. You have to think about sugarless daddies now.
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I worry that as we go into summer people will let their guard down and take less precautions and people are going to die from Piranhas.
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I got in, but I got turned off, so I fell behind, gave up, and dropped out.
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Today we have a comedy team with a gay straight man.
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Philatelists, philanthropists, and philanderers of Philadelphia
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In this lane there should only be equestrians on foot, and pedestrians on horses
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That Freddie Mercury movie is infectious, but Iâm taking Antibiopics
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Lovely Rita meter maid?! More like lovely Rita meet her maker! Because, you know, sheâs dead.
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This is a âgray areaâ for the law. Like Trumpâs pubes.
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Really?! âFundraiseâ? Shouldnât it be âraise fundsâ? Sorry, I donât mean to be a verb dick.
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shrimp shells and mouse poop are the new pumpkin spice
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I feel like we still need closure on this bra
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They say to eat a diet with whole grains, and you canât take all the salt; truth. But do you take that all with a grain of salt, or take it to heart, because thereâs a grain of truth to it?
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If police pull you over, you can steer the interaction by speaking thoughtfully. I like to begin by asking âWhat seems to be the problem, orificer?â
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Welcome to The Trout Hatchery. Hereâs your milt shake. Would you like fry with that?
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I was sentenced on all counts, more than I can count, and by all accounts that was a lot of sentences.
You should still wear a mask in certain situations, but never in uncertain ones.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
You should still wear a mask in certain situations, but never in uncertain ones.