-
Content count
665 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
4
Posts posted by F-Word Scissorhands
-
-
On a scale of 1 to 10, how many pounds of number 2 did you make on my kitchen scale?
-
By the way, Romans, about that crucifixion? You totally nailed it.
-
1
-
-
I can’t wait to start cancer treatment! I’m more like a cancer IMpatient!
-
No I’m not “firing” you. I’m not “laying you off” either. I am merely shitcanning you.
-
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you to leave me alone.
-
Today we flip the script and, on the backs of the papers, there are bunch of doodles and grody stains and shit.
-
My guest is the 2021 champion arepa-maker! He’s probably the most prolific “arepist” in the country.
-
I started in the Male Room but I worked my way up to Chief Hermaphrodite Officer.
-
These lightbulbs are $20 a pop and, once you pop you can’t stop, so that works out to a lighting budget of… infinity.Â
-
No, you asked if I CAN do you a favor. I said yes, I CAN. However, I choose not to.
-
We’ll make you laugh even if you don’t want to! Scott always says he prefers non-consensual.
-
They got an award for people with heads so big it makes their body look like the size of a pea. They call it a Peabody Award.
-
It’s different when we call each other that word! Because WE ARE Nongmen.
-
It fell on deaf ears, when my doctor tried to tell me I was totally deaf now.
-
This cabbage soup recipe is guaranteed to kill your fetus. It’s an “a-borscht-ion”, if you will.
-
If we let sweaty-breasted women get married, that undermines the stank-titty of traditional marriage!
-
In today’s episode I’m having a dissociative episode. I can see myself reading this shitty catchphrase, as if from above.
-
Sit down to pee? Sure, maybe when the pee starts coming out of my butthole!
-
2
-
-
If I had Nickels for every time Mike Nichols directed the graduate I’d have at least ten cents.
-
“The silent treatment.” Ask your doctor about new options for total deafness, but you won’t hear his reply.
-
He’s a microdick loser that can’t get laid. I don’t care if he IS four years old!
-
Give me a break/ Give me a break/ break me off a piece of that liquid nitrogen frozen vulva.
-
Get thee behind me, Satan! And while you’re back there, no funny butt stuff.
-
I combine my love of Latino cuisine with my skepticism of big pharma’s vaccines in my autobiography: Arroz Con Polio.
-
1
-
I judge a book by its cover. This paperback, here, is a slut.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
I judge a book by its cover. This paperback, here, is a slut.