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Days Won
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Posts posted by F-Word Scissorhands
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They held my feet to the fire but the overpowering stench of burning yeast forced them to released me.
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Thatâs a whole nother thing. Or, OK, maybe not a WHOLE nother but at least two-thirds of a nother.
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It's like crack on steroids on acid!
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Sweating bullets, shitting sweat, bleeding diarrhea.
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Heâs the Comeback Kid. But the origin of that nickname is gross. Talk about a âback story.â
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Our guest for today canceled because they peeked through the glory hole and got eye gonorrhea.
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If youâre straight, but afraid of missing out on gay sex, you might be a FOMOsexual.
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The waitress really pushed me to try the âbottomless nachosâ but then she totally freaked out when the nachos arrived and I took off my pants and underwear!
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Why do you bilge my pump (bilge my pump) Butterclump, baby just to smear my brown (smear my brown) while dressed like a clown?
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My family told me they were putting me in the nursing home which sounded great. But they don't breast feed us at all in here!
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We track down and shoot rolls of brand name paper towels today, on Bounty Hunters.
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At this time police do not believe there is any connection between the two murders. But there IS a connection between the two victims, who are Siamese twins.
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Oh baby give me one more chance/ Iâll bring you to my Neverland/ and then pull down your pants.
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This must be the motivation for the protagonist because, after it happens, he starts protagonizing like crazy.
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Youâve been hit by a smooth criminal but, in an unrelated incident, you were also hit by a bumpy criminal.
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I recently became a new mom, in that, I gave away my old, worn-out, children for adoption.
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Whatâs the deal with forearms? I have two of âem not four! Why donât they call âem twoarms?!
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I hear you, man. I donât agree with you, understand you, or even like you. But I hear you.
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Joseph Christ, the original Cuck.
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A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But birds poop a lot. So I prefer the two that stay in the bush and donât poop in my hand.
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Those are the facts about respecting spit, you can't diss-sputum.
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Todayâs show is going to have pro-fanity, and some amateur fanity as well.
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I recently became a new mom. Also, in addition to that, I gave birth to a baby.
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You canât indoor dine here, but you can dine indoors here, so I hope that is some consolation.
I cried the day my son was born, because I don't love my son.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
I cried the day my son was born, because I don't love my son.