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Posts posted by F-Word Scissorhands
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Too much junk in the trunk? Trash and old bags on the seats and floor? Hoarder car!
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I just can't wrap my head around that, and it's not easy to wrap my vagina around it, either.
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Baby, you're like the funk on a chunk of a road-killed skunk.
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I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, however, I am, like, the crushiest pair of crab crackers in there.
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The world runs on Dunkin'. In your mom's mouth. Especially the homeless man world.
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Scott's pro-tip for podcasters: always mute your mic when you flush.
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I lost my virginity at age 18. But I just found it again under my couch cushions!
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A Scotsman that’s been run over is road kilt.
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Yeah? Well whose fault is that?! Mine? Oh. I was hoping it would be yours or someone’s other than me.
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With all doo-doo respect, you are poop.
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Greetings Halloweeners, solid weeners, and weeners with a sweetened ricotta filling.
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If you can't stand the heat then don't shit in the deep fryer.
I may not be the most crowd-pleasing monkey in the zoo, but I can pick off your lice and, yeah, I will eat them.
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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I may not be the most crowd-pleasing monkey in the zoo, but I can pick off your lice and, yeah, I will eat them.