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Content count
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Days Won
4
Posts posted by F-Word Scissorhands
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Headless Body In Tapas Bar.
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Mastecto-me?! What about mastecto-you?!!
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Farm-to-table restaurant does ass-to-mouth
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Mighty hermaphroditey!
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I asked you what time it is and you said “twelve oh seven.” But “O” is a letter, not a number, so that is some kind of code or password.
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Don’t work hard. Work Smart, Jean.
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You can fool half of the people all the time. The lower half; from the waist down.
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In my country, we yell “I poop on your arms!” As a happy greeting.
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I appreciate you sharing your political views. I’ll be sure to mail you a “Thank You” note and a pipe bomb.
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You said that you think that we should hire a decorator. And I agreed: that you DO think that.
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There’s nothing better than relentlessness. Although, being unrelenting is pretty good too.
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You’re complicit in this college admissions scandal! Your new name should be Complicity Huffman!!!
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You know what? I made it weird, my bad. I should have referred to you as “our guest here” and not “this pigeon-toed cunt.”
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The F, in F. Murray Abraham, stands for Fartsucker. I’d go by “Murray” too.
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Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my iPhone.
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They say you have to play the hand you’re dealt. To hell with that! Grab the cards away from the other players and play their hands!
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Do you like parodies? Cuz I got a pair o’ DEEZ.
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I go to the Church of God, as opposed to all those other churches with no god.
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Megan Thee Stallion is one pretty lady; all the more remarkable since, by definition, a stallion has a dick and balls.
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Absence makes the heart grow Jane Fonda
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Batman and Robin reboot: the Dynamic Do-over!
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I’ve always said you should live with zero regrets. And that whole time I have regretted saying that.
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This is not the beginning of the end, it is only the end of the beginning, and I’m beginning to want to end my use of pointless, wordy, rhetoric.
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I made a promise to myself: I WILL not be, and I AM not going to be, a recidivist, because recidivism is unacceptable. But commit crimes again? Sure!
A Latino man whose children have moved out: Empty Nestor
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
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A Latino man whose children have moved out: Empty Nestor