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Content count
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Joined
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Last visited
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Posts posted by F-Word Scissorhands
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He was menās college basketballās winningest coach but, tonight, he is menās college basketballās dyingest coach.
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āI donāt like when you get in my faceā, I said to the botfly maggots.
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Hi, yeah, I saw that you moved my lunch in the staff refrigerator, from the middle shelf to the top shelf, and I just wanted you to know that is why I murdered your whole family.
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The killer had lots of journals where he wrote that he hated his classmatesĀ but, obviously, we arenāt going to take the word of a mass murderer, so we have no motive at this time.
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Iām sorry, that is confidential at this time but, what I can tell you is, shut up.
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Douches are supposed to be Summerās Eve, not Summer Steve
Ā
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If the government is going to require every building to have fire extinguishers then, to be fair and balanced, they should require fire exacerbaters too.
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I was hoping weād get off on the right foot. Not that I have anything against left-footed people.
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I should have written down what I wanted my single-mindedness to be laser-focussed on, because I totally forgot.
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Sphincter?! I donāt even know āer!!
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Check out my new adze! I fell in love with it in an extremely appealing series of commercial spots. Nothing is as sweet-ass as adze ads.
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Whenever your boss addresses you, always respond ānow what?!ā That way theyāll know you are eager and flexible.
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Jack-off all trades, masturbator of none.
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Give me your thick caulk, home improvement specialist!
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Indifference is my passion.
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No one likes being a quadruple amputee. But I have to admit you got me back for saying cryptocurrencies are dumb.
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I was born ready. For example, in the maternity ward, the next day, after I was born, I got a nurse pregnant.
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A lot of guys would ask you to say that one more time. Not me. Iām asking you to have said it one fewer times.
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They foisted it onĀ me and theyāll probably do it again. Foist, not last.
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Please. I prefer werewolf, not wolfman. Letās leave my gender out of this.
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I received a fraction of what I was owed. So what if that fraction was nine eighths?!
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We ask that all our guestsĀ keep your mask up unless you are actively eating... Scottās ass.
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To answer your last question first; first things first, where does it end? And, lastly, thatās just for starters, which is my answer to your first question, and thatās final.
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Earwolf has terminated the noisy crows that were formerly employed here. They were fired for caws.
Let me answer your question with a question and, also, a hand gesture like Iām jerking off.
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Let me answer your question with a question and, also, a hand gesture like Iām jerking off.