Tony the Poopbutt Butterfly

Waiter, there’s a pubic hair in my chowder and that’s far too few for my taste.

Eat cheese.

Made a necklace out of macaroni to mack on a brony.

Jesus is immaculately conceived and everyone worships him; I get emasculately conceived and everyone just says I have a tiny dick.

A few years after partnering with a sex robot, you only get the "up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, select, start, B, A" on your birthday--and that's if you're lucky.

Jenga!, motherfucker.

Pawn takes Pawn; Pawn takes other Pawn; Pawn takes another Pawn; New Pawn keeps taking the same Pawn; (They're all just basically fucking. It's gross); Check.

Castle takes Queen; Bishop takes Castle; Horse takes Bishop(‘s celibacy); Check

Rook takes Knight; Bishop takes Rook; Queen takes (a shit on) Bishop; Check

That's not the Pope greeting his congregation from the Pope-mobile; that's Opus Dei displaying for the world that they've imprisoned the Earthly Voice of God in a car-bubble cage.

I don’t care if this water-dwelling pachyderm murdered Chuck E Cheese and invented dick cancer, I’m duty-bound by the Hippo(potamus)cratic Oath to ensure its survival.

Sent my taxes to the IBS and now my ass is not only more inflamed, but it's being audited.

Went to the robot store and they were all out of RoButts.

oh dear lord ... the light bulb.

Nice one!

Before it was called tether ball on school playgrounds, it was called tether these balls, and before that, tether DEEZ NUTZ.

Finally spelled 'BOOBLESS' on my abacus.

100% of unicorns deny the leprechaun genocide ever happened. Think about that.

Dolphin pink undies make me feel sexy. Dolph Lundgren in pink undies makes me feel inadequexy.

Kids, here’s the truth: we didn’t give your koala-rat back to the nice man in Chinatown. I fed it late last night and it turned into a lizard, ate the cat, and started trying on your mother’s dresses. We had to kill it.

I don't know how much more descriptive I can get: imagine the fuzzy stuff is human skin ... it's a fleshy pipe cleaner.

The Sphincter’s Riddle: What goes in (the butt) four inches in the morning, two inches at noon, and three inches in the evening? *200th catchphrase...it’s an achievement, and a sad one at that.

Ooff ... that's good. I couldn't get beyond breakfast, lunch, and dinner dildos. Perhaps the answer shall remain a mystery.

I gott do another re-listen of the farts and procreation eps.

King Kong ain’t got shit on some people, but he literally got shit on me when he took a shit on me and my dog. We nearly died.