Tony the Poopbutt Butterfly

Would that mean Spamsexual is to be attracted to all types of canned meats?

Gerbils go in and out. Hamsters are pretty slick. But if a hedgehog goes in, it’s really up to him if he’s gonna come out.

I’d say these mango fibers stuck in my teeth feel like pubic hair but I’ve only ever oral-sexed other mangoes.

Car kisses and carcasses: It's all we do and we do it well at Smith's Embalming Services and Auto Detailing. *My apologies to TootyBut2DButt who granted me premiere "car kiss" permissions and I squandered them with this catchphrase.

hehehe ... now that I have your go ahead, this is totally not worth it ... h ehehehe. eh well. I'll post it so we can all be disappointed.

mind if I play with "car kisses" for a catchphrase? ... it's probably not going to be worth it, but boy oh boy do I have some words to post.

Burning on the inside. Burning on the outside. That’s the last time I radiate my crotch to get rid of a UTI.

Hey, nice one!

Blame the 8-ball of coke or my 8-ball-sized prostate, but I will be making frequent trips to the bathroom this evening.

This isn’t a porn parody of Star Wars, this is Star Wars as George Lucas originally intended.

I’ve suffered from clogged nipples since birth but I didn’t let that stop me from getting my real estate license.

I ordered the pure excretions of Canis familiaris, but this dog piss tastes like horse piss.

For the last time: Frankenstein’s Monster is the actual name of the monster, and Dr. Frankenstein is the name of the monster’s dick.

First base is kissing. Second base is butt stuff. Third base is also butt stuff. And a home run is more butt stuff.

Pants down. Tits up. That’s the way I’d like to be buried, kids

My 18th century doctor, Sir Toiletface McPeepeepants, said if it wasn’t for potty all my humours would be failing.

After years of thinking about exercise, my weight has fateaued.

My penis stunt spectacular isn’t that spectacular and only has one stunt which ends in tears.

I put my pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else, but only after I call my wife's boyfriend and he gives me the combination to my chastity belt.

Look, Icarus, I know they were your only pair, but it's the Festival of Dionysus and there's a dildo shortage on Crete.

Quite frankly, Jim, I do find it offensive that you're the only truffle hog owner who has never filled his own asshole to the brim with truffle oils.

Clearly your thongs aren’t designed to hold three testicles but damn do I look sexy.

My bra’s a little tight in the crotch.

Quite frankly, the Truffle Shuffle wouldn't be a dying art form if more truffle hog owners committed to filling their assholes with truffle oil.

You may think my webbed hands are perfect for the ocean apocalypse but I’ve only ever used them for slappin dat ass.