Jennifer JasonLee HarveyOswald

I think of most of my catchphrases in the shower- which is why this one is sopping wet. Though, you'll never in a million years guess why it's so sticky.

Appreciate the clarification. Otherwise I would have assumed the boobs were the prize for acceptance. It does beg the question, though: What about the boobs causes the anger? I mean, I've heard of angry birds, but angry boobs?

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining...without pissing on my other leg and telling me it's sunny. I like my pissweather fair and balanced.

Ok, technically it's not an "illusion", since the assistant actually does get chopped in half during the show. Abraca-dabda?

CBB: Putting the "B" in DABDA. Twice. And then a C in there too. Don't act like you don't know what the C is for.

All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom and a-poom-poom. Sorry, I don't know how to mute the poom-poom.

On Dancer, On Prancer, On Vixen. Especially on Vixen!

My anaconda is sleeping, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd take your ass out of the terrarium.

Don't cry for me, Argentina. You either, ArgenSandra and ArgenMonica. There's no crying in ArgenMambo #5.

Enjoy today's show. Or don't. Whatever. As you guys constantly remind me, I'm not your "real" dad.

Yo no soy Molinero. Soy Al Molinaro, the first of 3 Happy Days ghosts to visit you tonight.

Brown chicken, brown cow. This and other porn music on today's Comedy Farm Bang.

Some of these get aired!? ON THE PODCAST? Oh jeeze...where's the delete button?

Our musical guest, Tony! Toni! Toné!, couldn't make it- but don't worry. We booked Rudy! Rudi! Rudé!. Welcome to Comedy Total Bangscaping..

Don't tug on Superman's cape. Don't spit into the wind. In fact, maybe consider just stopping ALL the tugging and spitting, Ms. Daniels.