Englebert Hump a Dink

One Sock Cutter he cuts socks, Two Sock Cutters they cut socks, Three Sock Cutters they cut socks.

Are you wrinkly on your dinkly? Is your horn a little worn? Don't you Fret my dear friend, Try our new balm in your palm... It's for skin!

On my school bus we used to made fun of "butt-munchers" now EVERYONE is eating ass.

Nude Scenes in movies are always awkward, Unless your parents are there to help explain what you're seeing.

Three Scotches later and I'm all out of tape.

I'm not a boob or butt guy, I'm into front-butts.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's conjunctivitis.

Remember, spice in the bowl equals spice in the hole.

I've got my toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, the police will never find them there. life is good to me....life is good to me.

*clap clap.. cries gently

This is NOT a test of the emergency broadcast system. After years of exams Emergency Broadcast System has FINALLY passed and we'd like to congratulate it.. Congratulations Emergency Broadcast System.

Holy Fucking Shit. There's a Dinosaur. Jesus Christ. What The FUUUK *sung to the Jurassic Park Theme*

How many nuts do Deez Nuts nut if Deez Nuts do nut nuts?

You catching what I'm throwing? If not.. I'm gonna be throwing deez hands

I'm up in that ass like dog-doo Baby.

Don't believe the lies you are being fed. Punxsutawney Phil is actually from Gobblers Knob.

Have you ever thrown up in your mouth and sneezed at the same time?... I have...

If 10 thousand hours is what it takes to master a craft you'd think I'd be better at pleasuring myself.

They say you should never trust a fart...but what have farts ever done to poo?

Every day I start out, then I cry my heart out. Lonely is a man without love.

My whole life has been leading to this one singular moment..... Welcome Comedy Bing! Bong!... darnit anyways...

Skit-Skat Skoodle-doot Flip-Flop-Flee Everybody's running to my dangle-e-dees