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Paula F. Momkins

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Paula F. Momkins last won the day on June 20

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  1. I haven't the stomach for miso since those Hollywood fat cats canceled my SeeSo. Soupless bitch...
  2. Why do they call it bustin' a nut, when the only thing I actually busted was dat ass? Uncle Scott tears it up I bet.
  3. Threedom isn't free, but like many Earwolf podcasts, you can find it on Stitcher Premium.
  4. Two in the A, M, or the V? I'll do my best, having only one D.
  5. Keep honking, I'm downloading.
  6. Paula F. Momkins

    It’s time for catchphrase submitters to unionize.

    TootyBut for Union Prez
  7. Chris Gaines is simultaneously my celebrity crush and my amateur bodybuilding stage name.
  8. Paula F. Momkins

    It's not cheating if this is the Matrix. Prove it isn't.

    It's always not cheating if we live in the Eatrix.
  9. Kenny Loggins is simultaneously my celebrity crush and my amateur scat porn screen name.
  10. Methinks a grain of sand is just a rock, while the clit is the head of the female cock. It's science.
  11. From death ray to bang bang, from beater to A-frame; this Jason Mantz' tattoo on my calf shows where my 'nong hangs. hangnongman
  12. The feet are the vagina of the sole.
  13. Do fanboys dream of authentic queefs? A lot of counterfeit queefs on the net these days...
  14. On the 16th anniversary you give wax, and on the 25th silver, but it all starts on the wedding night when you gift a white river.
  15. My doctor misdiagnosed my I.B.S. and chronic fatigue, but it explains why I'm too tired to clean the shit out my jeans.