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Quasar Sniffer

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Everything posted by Quasar Sniffer

  1. Quasar Sniffer

    Congo (1995)

    I support 'Congo' being covered on a podcast for many-a reason... There are a couple of potential nominees for Worst Accent in this movie, but Tim Curry really takes the cake. It's straight from Stock Russian Cartoon Villain, which is even less appropriate as his character is supposed to be Romanian. Since he's done so much children's cartoon voiceover work, maybe the voice is just a holdover from one of those roles? You know, where it was appropriate? This was a weird time in Laura Linney's career when she was marketed as a sort of "Thinking Man's Sex Symbol." Oh, how enlightened we were in the 1990s, right dudes? Grant Heslov plays an expert on African apes, yet he "doesn't even like picnics." What? It's like a Computer Geek character complaining that he doesn't even use a calculator. Also, getting Andrew Ti from "Yo, Is This Racist?" as a guest would be pretty appropriate because... wow. Joe Don Baker is in this movie.
  2. Quasar Sniffer

    Avatar (2009)

    I've said this before so many places that I can't remember where, so if I've said it on these boards, I apologize, but seriously... FUCK. THIS. MOVIE. Pointing out the 'Ferngully'/'Pocahontas' similarities is pretty appropriate because, while that 'Dances With Wolves'-type story is about as old as.... the written story, those two movies are animated musicals aimed at children. 'Avatar' thinks it's Serious Fucking Business. The "white man falling under the spell of the native girl and culture" thing is so sanctimonious that it makes this movie unwatchable for me.
  3. Quasar Sniffer

    Patents? OSWALTS?

    It appears that the reach of Legal Zoom goes deeper than we realized... as they've put our friend Patton in charge of legal matters in Harlan, Kentucky. Sorry, I just felt like this forum could use a thread not specifically addressing a particular episode... even if it is frivolous and dumb. Speaking of Patton Oswalt, wasn't he great in 'Young Adult'? So God damn good. Incredibly underrated as an actor.
  4. I think that would be interesting. I mean, sometimes I'll watch a movie that I like and literally think, "how DID this get made?" I mean, 'Phantom of the Paradise'? 'Intruder'? (the 1989 slasher flick that was made for about no money... set in a grocery store). Even something prestigious and classy like 'Diving Bell and the Butterfly' ("anyone want to make a movie about a paralyzed Frenchman who can only move his left eye so he writes a book via blinking?") I'd be interested in hearing discussion about how you take these unappealing, unmarketable subjects (from GG Allin to paralysis) and make compelling stories about them in the visual medium of movies. However, I feel that unless the material is appropriately whacked-out and the filmmakers themselves are guests (like your suggestion for the Todd Philips movie), it's reaching into the territory of a different type of podcast. This one is more to celebrate awfulness or, at least, outrageousness..... which characterizes GG Allin rather succinctly. tl;dr That'd be cool, just as long as it doesn't veer too far from the purpose of this podcast.
  5. Quasar Sniffer

    Submit your new HDTGM logo here!

    I just want to say that I love this so much. Fucking ZARDOZ man, fucking Zardoz.
  6. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 52.5 — Minisode 52.5

    Mere serendipity... or something more sinister? This movie, 'Anaconda,' stars Jennifer Lopez, famous for her shapely and voluptuous rear end. The legendary song by Sir Mix-a-Lot, "Baby Got Back," about just such butts, contains the world-renowned couplet "my ANACONDA don't want none unless you got buns, hon." I suspect the involvement of the Illuminati. What about you guys? Also, the first appearance of Eric Stoltz features him attempting to present his character as manly in front of Jennifer Lopez. HILARIOUS.
  7. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 51.5 — Minisode 51.5

    From the writer of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen AND Transformers: Dark of the Moon comes... this movie. Oh man, what a piece of shit. Yet another example of how being an Oscar-winning screenwriter doesn't prevent you from choosing awful scripts to participate in. Oh, Ben, you would go on to make such good movies...
  8. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 190 — You Know What I Mean?

    The fact that this was referenced in the same comedic performance as 'The Third Man' pretty much makes James Adomian my fucking hero. Outstanding.
  9. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 50.5 — Minisode 50.5

    Because Woliner had a podcast on Earwolf and HDTGM isn't really known for having "characters" on the way CBB does, I approached the interview thinking it was real, but soon realized it was a bit... it just seemed like the bit had no jokes or direction. It seemed to vacillate between attempting to pass as for-real and the utterly ridiculous. As for 'Liz and Dick'... it is most unfortunate. Both Burton and Taylor were scandal-prone, to be sure, but anyone who's seen something like 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?' knows they had some serious fucking talent and intensity to go along with their insanity-prone lifestyles. It would be an actually interesting story if a movie about them was done well, so it kind of pisses me off that such a narrative was crapped out with this.
  10. Quasar Sniffer

    Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky

    The insanity of a movie like 'Crank 2,' while admirable and entertaining, seems conscious and intentional. 'The Story of Ricky' has the sort of madness that seems to come from a primal place; uncontrollable by conscious thought. The most utterly shocking thing about this movie is that it exists, that such imagery could be created by individuals who are also capable of an organized endeavor like making a movie.
  11. Quasar Sniffer

    Red Dawn and Red Dawn

    ...and it's not like the Chinese will resent being arbitrarily interchanged with Koreans as the villain. After all, every azn is just like every other azn... Also, how the balls does North Korean invade the US? I kind of want to see the remake just to find out what kind of idiotic explanation is put forth for such a scenario.
  12. Quasar Sniffer

    Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)

    If you have a cheesy 1980s sci-fi/fantasy movie, Sandahl Berman is always good times. Plus, Roddy fucking Piper! I will have to check this out.
  13. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 116 — The Sweet’n Low Spot

    You know, I'm an Orioles fan and am therefore experiencing some disappointment that my team is no longer in the playoffs. However, I would be willing to take another 15 years of sub-.500 seasons if I could have Racist Vin Scully do play-by-play for Baltimore.
  14. Paul F. Tompkins hates 'The Warriors?' What a surprise! Dawwwwww, I can't even get made at Tompkins for his elitism. He's just so cuddly AND hilarious.
  15. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 44.5 — Minisode 44.5

    Fuck yes, I love this movie. This is the first time in a long while that I'm actually looking forward to watching the filmed subject of a HDTGM podcast. Excellent choice, Sir Scheer.
  16. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 111 — Add 5 and Figure it Out

    Also, I feel bad for Chris Cox, as any episode with Carolla in it will overshadow what almost anyone else contributes. I just want to say I enjoyed every second of Joe Walsh at the end and I hope he comes back, perhaps to evaluate the Sklars' first pitch performance?
  17. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 111 — Add 5 and Figure it Out

    Personally, I'm offended by "Jews run Hollywood," "gay florist," "women aren't funny/don't know sports" jokes, not because of their content, but because they are just really hacky and cliche. If you make those jokes, it just seems like you don't respect your audience; like you expect them to laugh at the easiest punchlines you can muster.
  18. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 43.5 — Minisode 43.5

    Back to Jaws... I kind of feel like most of Michael Caine's scenes were written on the day of shooting. How many nonsense monologues does he have in this movie? It's like if he was paid for the day, they just kept rolling on him, talking random stories, as long as a writer could feed him lines, in order to get the maximum value out of their one big-name actor.
  19. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 110 — Badgering The Hoochie

    I'm pretty sure the Sklars themselves, a pair of very non-racist individuals, have said more racist things than that on this very podcast... and they still weren't actually racist. That tweet is like... something I wouldn't say if I were speaking to a class of second graders or something. You can find it not funny, but calling something so innocuous "racist" devalues actual racist behavior, the kind we should be admonishing. Anyway, to give Ken Shamrock the benefit of the doubt, I've always thought that maybe, for MMA guys, fighting outside of the ring is like comedians telling jokes off stage or chefs cooking 7 course meals at home. You know, the last thing a stand-up wants to do at Thanksgiving Dinner is be a joke monkey for his or her Great Aunt Myrtle just because the job is to be funny in a specific setting. Maybe MMA guys are just like, "ugh, I just spent 8 hours training to punch dudes in the face, can't I get some time off!?!? I just wanna buy come chinos at the Gap!" -Moral of this story: Should have gone to Bonobos.com
  20. Quasar Sniffer


    I liked it too. Sure, it's a massive ego trip and totally plotless (as opposed to the ego trip that Southland Tales was, which had a thousand plots piled on top of each other), but it's a fun, well-choreographed series of foot chases and brutal murders. I wasn't a fan of the little bits of hand-held,low-resolution cinematography that inexplicably popped up, but that was really my only major complaint. The best movie? No. But I enjoy it.
  21. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 172 — This is a Safe Zone

    If you have Todd Glass on your show or podcast, you better have a construction crew ready because he's gonna knock down every fourth wall you try to put up.
  22. Perhaps not the absolute worst movie ever, but considering when came before, probably the most disappointing movie ever made. I loved Star Wars so much as a kid, so when this thing came out... talk about crushed dreams.
  23. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 42 — Batman & Robin

    jrjenks wins
  24. Quasar Sniffer

    Starcrash (1979)

    Hasselhoff + Corman = Instantly watchable.
  25. Quasar Sniffer

    Episode 107 — A Tale of Two Richards

    My Wu-name: Intellectual Conqueror. Seems a bit cumbersome for a sobriquet, but it's also pretty awesome, so I'll take it!