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staircaseghost

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About staircaseghost

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  1. Clowns are like, the Snuffleupagus of murder, apparently. http://www.cbsnews.c...tails-released/
  2. If I made that video, I would slip it into every conversation for the rest of my life. "Yeah, I'll have a personal pan pizza, a fountain drink, a side of breadsticks, and I directed 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'"
  3. HOW IS NO ONE MENTIONING THIS MOVIE WAS MADE BY THE SAME GUY WHO MADE THE TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART VIDEO https://youtu.be/lcOxhH8N3Bo (it also somehow makes marginally less sense, which is an accomplishment)
  4. (also, any tips for resizing that teeny tiny uploaded image?)
  5. Here's a little data-driven CORRECTION on this episode: Ben Siemon mentions that he had to google "garage door clutch" to see if that was actually a thing, leading Jason to hypothesize that "you and the writer of this movie are the only two people that have googled that". Well it turns out that google analytics has something to say about searches for the keywords "garage door clutch": (click for fullsize image) The maximum resolution here is ten searches/month, so we can count anything under that as the statistical equivalent of zero, like the hum of electricity inside a microphone even in a silent room. So, this movie came out in theaters the last week of January 2015, then came out on dvd/on-demand the last week of April 2015. As you can clearly see, this correlates perfectly with those two little spikes of a few dozen searches, after which it plummets back to nothingness. So Jason was technically wrong in his assertion -- it turns out some other people have indeed googled that phrase. But as the data shows, we can be virtually certain that all of those were from people last year who paid money to watch this shitty movie, then immediately said to themselves: "Waaaaaiit a minute. Do garage doors even have clutches? I'm going to expose this movie and all its lies... but first I've gotta make sure I've got my facts straight." P.S. no, garage doors don't have clutches. The door always weighs the same and is moving up the same slope, so why would they ever need a mechanism to switch between gears to apply differential rotational force?
  6. staircaseghost

    2nd ANNUAL HOWDIES - COMING SOON & WE NEED HELP

    Best New Movie Pitch based on a Movie that we watch (This Movie Should have been, a Sequel pitch or Alt movie) Gooby: Gooby revealed as magical externalization of three generations of child abuse Best Thing that June is truly Upset by Gooby: the fact that he is an animal who wears a scarf but no other article of clothing
  7. staircaseghost

    2nd ANNUAL HOWDIES - COMING SOON & WE NEED HELP

    Best New Word created on the Podcast Death Spa: "Birth Oops" or "Boops".
  8. staircaseghost

    2nd ANNUAL HOWDIES - COMING SOON & WE NEED HELP

    Best Second Opinion should be retired. No one is ever, ever going to beat Jack Frost's "My Dad Was The Same Way".
  9. staircaseghost

    2nd ANNUAL HOWDIES - COMING SOON & WE NEED HELP

    Hmm, maybe when I get home I'll make up a spreadsheet in google docs so we can get the timestamps on these and save the clip-puller(s) some wrist strain.
  10. staircaseghost

    2nd ANNUAL HOWDIES - COMING SOON & WE NEED HELP

    Hmm, made an evernote file of these and will do some attentive listening to verify, but off the vague top of my vague head... Weirdest Thing Jason is Turned on By Didn't he achieve climax when he learned Bloodsport was based on a true story? Best New Movie Pitch based on a Movie that we watch (This Movie Should have been, a Sequel pitch or Alt movie) There was something like a version of Hercules in NY where it's revealed Pretzy has been hallucinating his imaginary friend the whole time and commits suicide at the end. Best Abuse of someone in the Crowd All-time hands-down winner is Adam Pally attempting to force an on-mic marriage proposal. Best Moment of Realization (Think Rudy from Reindeer Games moment) How about the slow-motion unfolding of "wait, so The Apple was a parable about Adam and Eve?"
  11. staircaseghost

    2nd ANNUAL HOWDIES - COMING SOON & WE NEED HELP

    Best Buns (Male) Stallone - Tango & Cash Russell - Tango & Cash Connery - Zardoz Travolta - Perfect Van Damme - Bloodsport Best Murder Committed by an Animal Sam Jackson monologue death - Deep Blue Sea Sodium Pentobarbitone injection - Monkeyshines (OK, I might volunteer to rewatch the Sharknados and write a one-sentence description of each kill you can read ahead of time then play back at 3x speed, chipmunk-style) Best Mathilda May Breast Mathilda May's left breast - Lifeforce Mathilda May's right breast - Lifeforce
  12. staircaseghost

    Episode 134 - Can't Stop the Music: LIVE!

    the people who agree with me are making some very good points
  13. staircaseghost

    Episode 131 - The Covenant

    Possible (and still upsetting). But they did do the CGI thing with Natalie Portman's butt in the different trailers for Your Highness.
  14. Deathstalker 2: Duel of the Titans I Come In Peace Hard To Kill Ator 3: The Iron Warrior The Sword & The Sorcerer
  15. staircaseghost

    Episode 131 - The Covenant

    Let's go back to the skirt-flipping scene for an OMISSION. In , the faceless skirt-flippee is wearing tiny black underwear. On the DVD, you get that same 1/8th of a second shot of faceless butt, sans-underwear. So I would ask our hosts and the fans which of the following is the most upsetting: 1) the thought of someone in post-production having to CGI panties ONTO a girl's butt 2) the thought of someone in post-production having to CGI panties OFF of a girl's butt 3) the fact that I noticed this 4) the fact that most of you pervo creeps who just heard about this are going to "fact check" me. You know... for research purposes.
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