dw3000

Let's unplug our earbuds and glug glug some beer suds!

One two, shoot your goo. Three four, on the floor. Five six, watch Netflix. Seven eight, clean the goo off the floor you gross weirdo!

I’m on a “seafood” diet. I primarily eat fish and shellfish.

When you hold your new niece Nina, shield her fontanelle with fresh fontina.

When life gives you almonds, goats, and Beyonce, make milk, milk, and Lemonade.

Ooooooh, that’s dilly relish!

In just a bit, I must admit, I came a lot in Camelot from an overdose of camel toes.

Full disclosure: the actual name is "Portrait of a Gentleman". I changed it because of the (I think) uncanny resemblance.

This episode...what a punch in the dick. So, so hilarious and so, so sad. I like to think Harris was listening from the Corner of Foam in the Sky. (You had me at "foam in this guy".)

Burying a rabbit in Stephen King's Pet Sematary is a hare raising experience.

With a bison pelt and +3 charisma and agility, you actually *can* rollerskate in a buffalo herd.

"Ass, gas, AND grass," requested the donkeyfart-loving greenskeeper.

Sure, they say "show, don't tell", but when was the last time you saw a good knock, knock joke, Professor Scholastic?

Slay it again, Pam.

If I knew then what I know now, I'd've been eating kangaroo for years.

Be kool with a "k" and look the other way.

I AM afraid of YES ghosts!

ALWAYS look a gift horse in the butthole.

Today's forecast is mostly rowdy with an 80% chance of pain!

Better to smell like river water and tomato paste than mothballs and maple syrup.

Mamma mia! Where's my mozzarella?!? Part skim, of course.

It's not the heat, it's the huge midriff tee.

New CBB game: Mohr or Schwartz. Isolate one line, spoken by either Jay Mohr or Ben Schwartz and try to figure out who said it. Damned if they don't have similar vocal tones and timbres....

Heads up, seven up. Pants down, sexy town.