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sillstaw

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Everything posted by sillstaw

  1. sillstaw

    Hercules in New York

    I haven't seen this movie, but I am wondering: Why did neither of you mention the scene where Hercules fights a bear?
  2. sillstaw

    Popeye (1980)

    I recall reading that there was some kind of controversy when I think Robert Evans was caught bringing cocaine into Malta where the movie was being shot. I take it it comes across on film that there were a lot of drugs involved. Also, I haven't seen it (though I'm sure my siblings think I have and that I just don't remember), but I just love the idea of a Robert Evans-produced, Robert Altman-directed family musical with people like Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall in the leads. Nothing about that fits together at all.
  3. sillstaw

    Cobra

    If nothing else, this movie needs to be recognized for having the weirdest villain motives to their actions. They're a cult who believes their actions will bring about a New World Order, allowing them to rule the world. So what do they do? Kill random people on the street. No political or famous targets, just random citizens. Also, Sylvester Stallone cuts a slice of pizza with scissors and Brigitte Nielsen poses for fashion shoots with robots. You need to see it. (NetFlix Streaming!)
  4. sillstaw

    HAYWIRE

    No. Just no.
  5. sillstaw

    The Paperboy

    When the trailer came out, I wrote a few jokes about it on Facebook (i.e. what a terrible video game adaptation), then just had to say: "Nicole Kidman pees on Zac Efron. That's not a joke. That actually happens [in the movie]." (Granted, it's because a jellyfish stings him, but without having seen the film, I have to ask how that's all relevant to its plot about a murder mystery.)
  6. sillstaw

    Town & Country (2001)

    This was 2001 when he was talking. And, in fairness, his picks were mostly 70s movies like "Looking for Mr. Goodbar." But yeah, when your two most recent movies are "Darling Companion" (AKA a movie for old people who think Disney movies are too visceral) and "The Big Wedding" (which could have a HDTGM episode based solely off the poster), it's a long way from "Annie Hall" and "Manhattan."
  7. sillstaw

    Town & Country (2001)

    Has anyone else read Kevin Murphy's "A Year at the Movies?" He wrote a scathing essay on the movie, pointing out how impossible it is to like the main character, scolds Diane Keaton for being involved in such a bad film after being in so many great ones, and saying that if the reader ever finds a copy of the movie at a friend's house, they should throw it in their fireplace.
  8. sillstaw

    Wanted

    Oh yes. How on earth can you have crazy ideas like curving bullet trajectories and looms that determine who should be killed, and still be such a dull, average action film? Can you imagine what the "Crank" guys could've done with that stuff?
  9. sillstaw

    Bad Halloween Movies!

    You forgot to mention the best part (and by "best" I mean "most depressing"): The director is a convicted kiddie pornographer and a registered sex offender!
  10. sillstaw

    Bad Halloween Movies!

    How has nobody suggested "The Happening" in this thread yet? We need our lemon drinks eyed and our hot dogs praised for their cool shape and protein!
  11. sillstaw

    Bad Summer Movies!

    You know who'd be a great guest if this happens? Bruce Campbell. He admitted that his (very small) role was fun in the off-time, because he got to go on walks around Costa Rica on the studio's dime. Other than that--and this is why I recommend trying to get him for this--he hated doing the role, because they wouldn't let him deviate from the written dialogue. At all. Not even an "um." Apparently, the screenwriter had a clause in his contract that they couldn't change any of his work, so they were being extra-cautious. (On a related note: Why the heck did they get the guy who wrote "Moonstruck" to write a jungle movie?)
  12. It's now been featured on My Year World of Flops. And, seeing as how HDTGM inspired Nathan Rabin to see "Drive Angry," I feel like they should be inspired by this. It would be awesome. Heck, get Rabin to guest.
  13. sillstaw

    October horror themed suggestions

    I used to frequent a bad-movie website where several of the writers said their fascination with bad movies started with "The Exorcist II." And if a movie can inspire such greatness in a website that I'm awkwardly trying not to name, doesn't it deserve the HDTGM treatment?
  14. I'm so confused about how this franchise has gotten to movie #5. The only person I've ever heard talking about how much they like it is my older brother, who is kind of stupid and loves any movie with action and gore.
  15. sillstaw

    October horror themed suggestions

    Not to mention, people do make a big deal about those people being in bombs. "Knight and Day," anyone? Also, when they bomb, they bomb in the millions. "Oogieloves" bombed below a million. BIG difference.
  16. sillstaw

    October horror themed suggestions

    I'm still trying to reconcile the fact that "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle," "L.A. Confidential," "In Her Shoes" and "Losin' It" were all directed by the same guy.
  17. sillstaw

    October horror themed suggestions

    You forgot the best parts: It bombed, hard. According to Box Office Mojo, it opened on 1507 screens and grossed $327,000 opening weekend, which places it fifth on the worst openings of all time and second-worst at the time (now third thanks to "Oogieloves") per-theater average. The most damning statistic: It averaged out less than six people per theater. The same weekend, "Bucky Larson" opened and got a little over eight people a theater. I endorse "Hausu." It's got a decent reputation, but for me, the schizophrenic tone just killed any kind of horror that could have come out of it, and eventually just became wearying. As for my own suggestions... hrm. Looking through my Netflix showed that I don't watch a lot of horror movies, and the ones I didn't like are generally ones that lots of horror fans like. So I looked at the Razzies' worst picture nominees and winners, and found two potential entries. One of them is "Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2." (Fun fact: This is the only movie directed by Joe Berlinger that is not a documentary. When he does documentaries, it's stuff like "Paradise Lost" that's actually quite good, apparently.) The other isn't really a horror film so much as it is satanic-themed, but come on, why WOULDN'T you want to do "Little Nicky?" Also, because I probably gave it three stars on Netflix on account of it being so hilarious, I almost overlooked "The Happening." Now THAT'S got to be high on the list.
  18. sillstaw

    Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011)

    I loved this movie. Some of the best parts: The random "animated" sections, including one showing Johnny Blaze doing a motorcycle stunt with no pants on. One specific animated section where it shows a bunch of people who are evil, just generic drawings of people... then a photo of Jerry Springer. The Twinkie. And of course, "What happens when you have to pee?" Also, it's been a while since I watched it, so am I not remembering correctly, or did the Gypsy woman's kid have an American accent despite being raised in Europe?
  19. sillstaw

    Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)

    To quote Kevin Spacey's most beloved role... WRONG!
  20. Yeah, I didn't mention the DVRing in the email (it was one sentence long, asking them to consider renewing). Still, I feel bad about DVRing, but it's the only way to fit it in with my older brother's weekly visits to my parents' house.
  21. I did, too. (Haven't bought a season pass, but have DVR'd most every episode.)
  22. sillstaw

    3000 Miles to Graceland (2001)

    I can guess how the idea got started: Hollywood was still in love with the idea of Tarantino knockoffs, and this one had a pretty great premise. Come on, how awesome would a movie that was actually about criminals trying to rob a casino disguised as Elvis impersonators be? (Too bad that's done in, what, the first thirty minutes? If that?) I can tell you a little bit about how it got to be such a disaster, though: Apparently, Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner had differing ideas on how the movie should play; Costner wanted an action-oriented movie, while Russell wanted a comedy-oriented romantic angle. Warner Bros. decided to let them both have the movie edited according to their wishes, and screened both for test audiences. They chose Russell's. To quote Ed Harris of the Agony Booth, "Think about that, folks. Somewhere in the vaults of Warner Brothers, there exists a cut of 3000 Miles to Graceland that they didn't use because it was worse than what was released."
  23. sillstaw

    Bad Summer Movies!

    "The Avengers." No, not the superhero movie. The one with Uma Thurman and Ralph Fiennes. One of the only things I remember about it when my family ordered it on Pay-Per-View was a scene where some of the bad guys meet up in a boardroom, all dressed as teddy bears. What more do you need? Oh, and it was one of the first "big" movies where the studio didn't screen it for critics. Allegedly, they tried to claim that they wanted critics and audiences to "discover" the movie simultaneously. Ha. ETA: And it's streaming on Netflix!
  24. sillstaw

    Passion Play

    All you really needed to say was "Megan Fox plays a girl with actual wings." Although Mickey Rourke's comments help. I haven't seen it (I'm still on the fence on whether I should bother), but I've read a spoiler for the ending... How anybody thought this was a good idea with that terrible a "twist" is beyond me. (Needless to say, it's pretty easy to guess what the "twist" ending is.)
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