PlanBFromOuterSpace

I just saw the "Jem" trailer, and I immediately thought that it looked like a far too self-serious version of this. It was like "Josie and the Pussycats" with PTSD.

It's so weird how it seems to hit everyone at a different height. I mean, it still looks great though, and it's the ONLY thing I remember at all from the movie.

Worse yet is "From the STUDIO that brought you...", because nearly every studio is so diverse in what they release that to say two films came from the same studio means LITERALLY nothing in terms of comparing the types or quality of films. Yes, Disney has released so many great films over the years, but they're also the studio that brought you "Max Keeble's Big Move".

Yeah, it's almost like as high as the stakes are, there really AREN'T any stakes at all, because what's going to happen is going to happen and the hero isn't going to create an anti-earthquake gun that will end things once and for all or anything.

Fuck. Yes. I've been a fan of this one since forever, and I'm sure it's been brought up elsewhere. One of my favorite parts that sticks out in my mind is at the end, when they're celebrating or something, and all the kids are demonstrating their impressive skills, except for one dude that MAYBE just does a cartwheel.

I'm disappointed that it wasn't an original trailer for the film that Paul played, what with the mentions of Conan and everything, and right after the Arnold Strong talk. Speaking of young Schwarzenegger, I remember him saying that he bought his apartment building or something like that once he really started to make money. Could you fucking believe having Arnold as your landlord? Holy shit! My neighbors are total assholes though, so I think I'd actually kind of appreciate having a landlord that could turn that junkie into a big ol' puddle of murder sauce.

"Top Gun" may have been more of an HBO/Showtime thing, like it depends on which one you had while growing up. I had Showtime, and it seemed like "Iron Eagle" was on alllllllllll the time, but I never saw "Top Gun" on cable all that much, but I never really liked it anyway.

I'm pretty sure that that's when I'll be climaxing as well!

That's what I've been saying to folks, like how he's going to punch this earthquake SO hard in its stupid fucking face. I love these kinds of movies where the actions of the protagonists likely have NO bearing on the outcome of anything at all. I'm sure he saves his kid or whatever, but everyone that joins him on his mission will die horribly.

I'd seen the first one quite a while after it had become a "college dorm room poster" movie and really didn't get anything out of it. I was like "I get it, this guy grew up watching all the same crime films that I did and likes having everyone say 'fuck' a lot", but I have found that it's a good gateway movie to get the younger folks to watch the (sometimes not even that much) older films that this one apes at every turn. Had it actually been made and released when it was supposed to be, I think it would have fallen into the realm of movies that seemed to unsuccessfully try to be the next "Pulp Fiction" and would have fallen into obscurity, but in a way, it's fucked-up production history and relative obscurity when it WAS finally a real thing gave it a little distance, so it avoided direct comparisons for the most part. I've never seen the sequel, which seemed to exist only as a way for Duffy to get the rights back and get a piece of the merchandise, but I can't recommend "Overnight" highly enough. It shows what a complete piece of shit Duffy was from the start and how he deserved and earned every little piece of failure that he got.

I was hoping to see the OTHER members of Slipknot as well... Anyway, I just got out of this movie, and it is pure fucking joy.

By all counts though, it sounds like he was an absolute cock before, during, and after all of this. Yeah, all the family craziness can't help matters any, and that sucks for anyone to have to go through, but I can't imagine that he would have been any less of a weirdo on a GOOD day.

That's easy. Just watch it for another four hours.

He also has a new boss in every film it seems, and even though none of THEM end up being crooked (except Phelps, but the other guy may have been above him), that kind of turnover can't be good, allowing for things to fall through the cracks or be overlooked entirely. It is a shitty, shitty team.

I can't understand NOT understanding what it is on a first viewing. I can certainly understand not liking it, even though it's my favorite film of all time (it flip-flops with "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington", so try to understand THAT logic...), but it's a pretty straight-forward dramedy. There are certainly things to pick up on on later viewings, but that has more to do with knowing how it was satirizing the porn industry at the time, and particularly the story of John Holmes. If you went into the film hearing it was a big laugh-out-loud comedy or the most depressing thing you'll ever see, I can see being disappointed that it wasn't one or the other, but I simply cannot get confusion about what it is from it. It's not like a porno "Donnie Darko" or anything.

Also, the plot of EVERY Mission Impossible involves someone in the agency turning on the agency, I think, which really makes you wonder how GOOD this agency really is at their job in the first place. It'd be funny to find out that they're the sixth-string agency, that they're the lowest bidders or something.

For some reason, didn't Harry Knowles have some minor thing to do with this one? I seem to remember this or some shitty action flick of the time where he had some notes or input after a set visit or something, it got used, and then it amounted to absolute jack shit. I could be wrong, maybe it was someone else, but it seems to stick out in my mind as a thing that actually happened. Edit: I just looked, and it seems as though his early review of Rollerball was pretty toxic (hardly a controversial statement), which actually caused a delay of the release for some tinkering or something, and ultimately it meant nothing, as the film was STILL a piece of shit and was probably going to be one no matter what.

The Return is terrible, as I saw it once in the theater (yeah, I'm the one) and a couple of times on cable before seeing it for the first time in a decade on Netflix. I remember at the time being DISAPPOINTED that Bill Goldberg wasn't the big villain in it, that Michael Jai White (fresh off of Spawn) was the big bad, but now I'm pretty high on White's work as a guy that's good in mostly not-so-good films.

That's fine, easy mistake. I also remember everyone wearing those sunglasses, like that's what passed as a uniform, not those cool headset camera rigs from the first one. The soundtrack is awesome though and can certainly be added to the pantheon of great soundtracks to bad 90s movies.

Possible correction: this MIGHT be from the nearly-unwatchable "Universal Soldier: The Return". Every other JCVD "Universal Soldier" is a classic, but "The Return" is a hate crime.

I remember at the time saying that this looked like a fake movie within a movie, like something that would be a running joke in an episode of "30 Rock". I caught bits and pieces of it at my theater during it's brief run, and I couldn't understand WHY it got made, as it seems like it was a template for a movie of that kind that no one did anything with.

The threat is REAL!

And December isn't part of allergy season!

I forgot about that! In a crazy way though, it made sense, because all of a sudden Troy now had the resources to knock out his enemies and/or competition in the terrorism trade, so of course he'd do it in one fell swoop.

I like how that review instantly assumes that we know what they're talking about. It's like "I mean, no need to explain the CLASSIC drugged coffee and chief's car bits, you all know what I'm talking about", like its "The Jerk" or something...