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Everything posted by inactiveuser501

  1. inactiveuser501

    Blue Chips (1994)

    Has anyone else seen this? If the gang is holding off on Steel and Kazaam, Shaq's film debut may be the remedy. Nick Nolte is playing basically a Bobby Knight character and is involved in bribing kids to join his team? Shaq's performance as a basketball player, aka what he does for a living, is mind boggling, and there is just so much insanity that needs to be discussed!
  2. inactiveuser501

    Mercury Rising (1998)

    Via Wikipedia: I wasn't sure how to feel about the kids performance. On one hand, it's not Justin Bartha Bad, but on the other, this kid apparently went to a psychologist to learn how to act autistic, Charlize Theron-Style Either way, it's still insane. The NSA believes that the best course of action when a kid cracks a code and no one, not even his parents know, is to KILL THE FAMILY? Bruce Willis's Sepia-Toned flashbacks to a teenager getting shot, the woman who looks like Velma from Scooby Doo who speaks only in 90's references, the OTHER woman who is pointlessly dragged into the plot for no reason, it is just a crazy mess.
  3. inactiveuser501

    Milk Money (1994)

    I found out about this through the Nostalgia Critic's (Doug Walker) review, and loved the review. The premise alone warrants an episode, but when I decided to watch it, there was just so much craziness that everyone is missing out on. There are jokes about Incest, extended double entendres about Math Tutors and Prostitutes, the fact that everyone in town stares at Melanie Griffith for wearing a low cut dress, the school scene, the love story (or lackof) with the boy Frank and the brunnette girl, This movie is a disaster, and that's not even going into the Pretty Woman Ripoffs or whether this is supposed to be a family comedy or a sex comedy. The best way to describe it is American Pie with Kids and Sentimentality, aka HDTGM Gold.
  4. I am still angered that there is no traction on this film. I don't know of a single moment where anything sane was happening. Each Character could have 30 minutes devoted to them. Asthma Inhalers, Greenhouse Murders, Mentally Challenged Ernie Hudson, there is all of it.
  5. inactiveuser501

    Lonely Lady (1983)

    HOW. HAS. THIS. NOT. BEEN. DISCUSSED. The Horror of Showgirls, The Storyline of The Room, The production values of Sleepaway Camp! Pia Goddamn Zadora. The titular song! Please tell me that I'm not the only one on the forum who witnessed this. And it is on YouTube in full Jesus Christ
  6. inactiveuser501

    The Scarlet Letter (1995)

    Now, for this one, I would recommend getting a John Gemberling-style host who's read the actual Scarlet Letter. Because, as this film's credit is famous for, this is "Freely Adapted" from the original novel, which is code for "We didn't have enough decency to keep the ending" But either way, this film goes crazy from moment one. The sex scene between Demi Moore and Gary Oldman is intercut with a mute black slave girl taking a bath! Robert Duvall is clearly insane and wearing an amazing wig. The Courthouse Scene, the film's climax, This film felt like what the nudity in Showgirls would have been like set in puritanical New England. And considering they both came out the same year AND both have a Michael Bolton Look-a-like involved in a rape scene, that is amazing. This film turns the classic tale into full-fledged insanity, and frankly, it's time the guys get a 17th century period piece under their belt. The Best Part? Free on YouTube in full length. But, if you do rent it, I kid you not, this is the description.
  7. inactiveuser501

    The First Wives Club (1996)

    I love this movie. I loved it, I loved it, it is my guiltiest pleasure, this movie's amazing. With that being said, I know the critical reviews, and I understand why it might be bad. This movie is on Joyful Noise's level of funny slapstick based on depressing scenarios. I know damn well I was laughing at serious moments (Bette Midler slapping the shit out of Diane Keaton and Goldie Hawn) And a lot of characters are insane, like Pre-Sex and The City Sarah Jessica Parker and Post-Showgirls Elizabeth Berkley as the mistresses, and an absolutely depressed looking Maggie Smith. This movie was also considered feminist and influential enough to warrant a Time cover, which may be the craziest fact of all. I'm really posting this to get a feeling on the forum's thoughts. Crazy Insanity or actually sorta good?
  8. inactiveuser501

    Town & Country (2001)

    Now, I am genuinely reluctant to recommend this film because I won't lie, it can be kinda a bore. But every single time I think about it, I am just reminded about the TRILLIONS of unanswered questions and plot holes. Warren Beatty's motivation in this entire movie is invisible, there is never any answer as to why he decided to cheat. The Garry Shandling-Goldie Hawn subplot is mystifying, I still cannot determine the point of Andie MacDowell and Jenna Elfman's characters, there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON why Diane Keaton finds out about the affair, Charton Heston and his wife are clearly insane, the way that the get the title from the movie is god-awful and I am absolutely INFURIATED that Natassja Kinski got a title card. If anything, there are 5 reasons to watch this Terrible Re-Editing and Direction/The Amount of time it took to make it The Amount it cost to make this movie Rich-People Problems: The Movie The fact that this film could legitimately be Warren Beatty's LAST FILM Oh, and this is an R-Rated RomCom Overall, tough to sit through, but worth it in retrospect. And here's the trailer (P.S. there are scenes in the trailer that aren't in the movie. THE EDITING IS TERRIBLE) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPX_1XQtmB4
  9. inactiveuser501

    Untraceable (2008)

    I know some people may think I'm crazy when I say this, but there is some next level-"I Know Who Killed Me" style shit going on in this movie. I just have to say that for a film that is dealing with a psychopath who is murdering people via web broadcast, the authorities are so glib and uncaring about their responses that it is unbearable. Do this movie just to see Diane Lane turn herself into a pendulum and to read the prominently shown comments section of the murder website, it's amazing.
  10. inactiveuser501

    Mr. Wrong (1996)

    This movie is really quite an accomplishment. I know Jason's aware of it (From the On The Line episode), and it does have that awkward "Closeted Person in Straight Role" vibe, but it just goes beyond that. Ellen's character is just so awkward and distant from the bouncy personality that we know of her. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE in this movie are just the most unlikable people in the world. Bill Pullman is garbage, Joan Cusack is garbage, the Parents and Friends are garbage. It claims to be a "Dark Comedy" but the last 20 minutes of this movie are some of the most uncomfortable and mean-spirited scenes of all time. This movie genuinely made me feel unclean. The Good News? The movie is full on YouTube, in it's entirety (except for part of a sex scene) Do this and destroy it to no end. (And getting Ellen on to talk about it wouldn't hurt either)
  11. I'm still trying to understand how this came out after Pretty Woman and Steel Magnolias, because this seems like a desperate role for Julia Roberts. She plays a woman who fakes her own death to escape an abusive husband, moves from Massachusetts to Iowa under a new name, but her husband is still able to find her? This movie has Julia Roberts getting the shit punched out of her, an insane mustache of a man as the killer husband, staircase sex, a 5 minute music video break where Julia tries on hats (Yes, they ripped off Cobra), 10 minutes of false leads as to whether the husband is in the house, and of course, the biggest fault, How Did Julia Roberts know that her husband would take her sailing during a storm, look away so she could jump out, run back to her house before he came back to get her things, and go to a new town with no ID of Social Security available because she is legally dead?!?!? This movie is mental, currently on Netflix Instant, I would love to see it torn apart.
  12. I really don't know what to make of this movie. It has wonderfully bad characters, and balls-out crazy moments, yet it still felt underwhelming. You could spend hours talking about Erica the Witch, the goth chick, and the Town Sheriff who serves as a foil to the Witch Hunters. Add in the fact that the original Blair Witch Directors STILL wanted to do a third sequel, yet have it ignore this movie, makes this a train wreck of epic proportions.
  13. inactiveuser501

    Episode 82 — Double Team

    Completely agree with June that Rodman gave a fine job. I compared this movie to Fair Game a lot, and Rodman definitely had more better reads than Cindy Crawford. Also, Jason may have been on to something with the idea that Stavros owns the tiger. That tiger both reveals Van Damme and is his method to kill him (Of course, that would have meant Stavros had to have set up the entire carnival before hand, or my personal favorite theory, that Stavros bought the tiger after the shootout)
  14. inactiveuser501

    Episode 81.5 — Minisode 81.5

    I hope we can all agree that the four things this movie is obsessed with are Breakaway Glass, Random Uses of Tigers, Coca-Cola, and Needlessly Putting Children in Peril.
  15. inactiveuser501

    Episode 77.5 — Minisode 77.5

    No no, I got THAT. What I'm asking is what Mimi's PLAN was? Did she honest to god want to be a singer, or did she trick Lucy and Kit to go with her knowing that she was going to meet parents. I know she changes her mind, but she does talk about talking to lawyers and seeing pictures and parents, which I thought meant THAT was why she wanted to go.
  16. inactiveuser501

    Episode 77.5 — Minisode 77.5

    Guys, this is a serious question. Did Mimi really go to California to become a singer, or to meet parents to adopt her baby. Because even though she already knew she wanted to give the baby up, she attempted to be the lead of the karaoke group, which tells me she still had singing dreams, but then we end with BRITNEY singing at the audition. Why did Mimi, or hell, ANY OF THEM need to go to California.
  17. inactiveuser501

    Crocodile Hunter Collision course

    I'll be honest, when I saw the title on the forums, I assumed that someone was already trying to make a biopic about Steve Irwin with the most inappropriately tasteless title ever. Glad to see that it's just Crocodile Dundee IV
  18. inactiveuser501

    Episode 77.5 — Minisode 77.5

    Wow. Oh wow, I just rewatched this. How did I not catch Mimi's ex's asking her "How's the fetus?" We need to talk about Blue Bottled Beer, Anson Mount's rampant sexism, rapey guy from the Karaoke Bar, the idea that Dan Aykroyd and Kim Cattrall hooked up, Zoe Saldana's entire storyline, and the creation of I'm Not a Girl (Not Yet a Woman).
  19. inactiveuser501

    Episode 77.5 — Minisode 77.5

    This is literally one of the best Chistmas Present that a comedy podcast about movies could give. BRING ON THE UNCOMFORTABLE STORY LINES!!!
  20. inactiveuser501

    Episode 77 — Hudson Hawk

    It honestly would not shock me if Covert Affairs did an episode entitled 'Nundercover'.
  21. inactiveuser501

    Episode 77 — Hudson Hawk

    The excitement over Nundercover is making me sit through the movie to thoroughly enjoy the podcast. And guys, I think I Love this fucking dum-dum movie. I'm 1/3 in, and Bruce Willis looks like he is enjoying hinself, and I'm obsessed with the Hospital Gurney-on-Highway scene if for no other reason than seeing Bruce shout "TOLL BOOTH?!?"
  22. inactiveuser501

    The House of Yes

    So looking for a bad Thanksgiving movie that wasn't Thankskilling, I found Pauly Shore's Son-in-Law and The House of Yes. I genuinely wish I chose Son-in-Law This film won awards at Sundance and the only legitimate reason that I could conceive is that all Indie Movie awards just had to go to Parker Posey in the 90's. She plays an insane woman who mimics Jackie Kennedy and goes into a jealous rampage when her twin brother announces he is engaged to Tori Spelling. Freddie Prinze Jr. plays her other brother in what I believe is an autistic performance. There is ridiculous costuming, there are reenactments of the JFK Assassination, and the ending is pure madness. This apparently is critically loved but I have no idea why. I guess the acting is fine, but the dialogue was called 'quick and witty', and I just didn't see it. This was so upsetting and to think they tried to pass this off as a 'black comedy' is just ridiculous. I was just about to write this off as a bad movie, but when I learned the Writer/Director would go on to do Freaky Friday AND Mean Girls, I lost my mind. Please unravel this insanity.
  23. inactiveuser501

    Anna Nicole (Lifetime 2013)

    With both House of Versace and Skyscraper on the board, I just need to talk about this. This film is...weird. That is my best projection. There is no phoning it in a la Liz and Dick, but...man did they take liberties with her life. She learns that she will become Anna Nicole Smith when she is 5 years old via an imaginary friend. She payed a surgeon IN CASH for her breast implants. They never go into the fact that Howard K. Stern thought he was Dannilynn's father, I have NO IDEA where Danny's drug addiction came in, there is no scene where she makes the transition from Vicki Lynn to Anna Nicole, her relationship with her mother is resolved even though she hated her UNTIL HER DEATH. J. Howard Marshall is shoved to the side when he is near death, and...and... This will divide a lot of people. It is Crazy-Good, Crazy-Bad, and Crazy-Upsetting at the same time. I would recommend people check it out, there is a low quality but watchable version on YouTube, but be prepared for anything. The trailer is fucking flawless BTW http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfK-FYtr5Ac
  24. inactiveuser501

    Episode 75.5 — Minisode 75.5

    Alright, several things. 1) The villian's demise was the greatest thing I ever witnessed 2) They decide to destroy Cindy's home with a TV bomb while the assasin HAS A GUN AND CINDY IS IN PLAIN SIGHT OUTSIDE OF HER BOAT. 3) Cindy's role was optioned to Brooke Shields, Julianne Moore, and Geena Davis (who chose Cutthroat Island over this), even though this REALLY felt like a Cindy Crawford vehicle 4) Crawford and Baldwin seem to be trying but...no. Just no. 5) Watch this movie while playing "Find the Parallels to Cobra" It is amazing. All in all, a crapfest, but seeing as I loved Cobra, I shouldn't be surprised I loved this. It really is Cobra for the 90's
  25. inactiveuser501

    Episode 75.5 — Minisode 75.5

    20 minutes in, and the boat scene already proved why this movie is worth it. The dialouge (You wanna watch Headline News with me? No? It's not gonna kill ya), Billy Baldwin's sideways shooting, and the crown jewel, Cindy Crawford just flying out of that house boat.