ShaneHebert

If you: A. like buddy cop comedies, B. think asain based racism is hillarious, C. think that the "Rush Hour" series would be a lot better if Chris Tucker was several degrees paler and cursed with a chin that could bludgeon a farm animal to death, HAVE I GOT A MOVIE FOR YOU!!! Jay Leno. Mr. Miyagi. Car jokes. COLLISION COURSE. It has all the playful xenophobia of Japanese businessmen that you loved in Michael Keaton's "Gung Ho" with all the snappy one-liners you've come to expect from the ONE TRUE HOST OF THE TONIGHT SHOW (do'ri-tos). It's a crazy mess of a movie that did fairly well at the box office at the time and has been quickly forgotten by the universe. (With good reason I'd imagine) East Meets Best in "Collision Course." Oh yeah, and did I mention that Pat Morita jump kicks a speeding car in this movie? Oh, sorry. Cause he does. Trailer (Where none of the jokes are funny) --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0HtTUrYwts Greatest Scene Ever (Where a short elderly asian man jumpkicks a car-- very funny) --> The Film (Available on YouTube in chunks) -->

"Delgo" is ridiculous pap with shoddy animation, design, writing, structure, and... come on, guys, it's "Delgo". We're talking about the second lowest box office openning for a major release of 2000+ in history. (Averaging out to each individual screening had 2 people in it!) And yet it has this giant cast of very recognizable stars: Freddie Prinze Jr., Jennifer Love Hewitt, Anne Bancroft (in his final role), Chris Kattan, Val Kilmer, Malcolm McDowell, Louis Gossett Jr., and Michael Clark Duncan. Horrible RT/Metacritic/IMDB scores, passed between like 4 distributers before coming out as one of the largest independent releases of all time. Dumber than "Avatar" and more incompetant than "Snurks" I think it's a great choice for the first computer animated HDTGM episode. Trailer -->

Somehow you all skipped over the moment of the film where my mind ceased to operate. Do you remember when Jack (the sentient snowdad) and whatever the hell that son was named JUMPED OUT OF THE BACK OF A MOVING VEHICLE! Absenteeism is one thing, but in that moment the "hero" of our story all but pushed his young child out of a vehicle which considering the weather, terrain, and near-certainty that the driver was trying to rush home to be with his family, must still have been going somewhere in the 20-35mph range on that road (at the least). It's one thing for that crystallized bluesman to make the jump. He's practically immortal. But there isn't a moment of hesitation when he ushers what's his name towards what is certain to be the last leap he will ever make. Not even a "tuck and roll, son." If this was his parenting attitude maybe god had the right idea when he killed him one year earlier ON THAT VERY SAME ROAD!

On the subject of Mr. Show's crazy presence in this film: there are multiple cuts to Mr. Show sketches and AT LEAST three M.S. alumni make appearance. Does someone know if there is any connection between the two? It can't be the writer, he has no real power in casting and editing. Was the director or producer a giant fan or connected in some way? And to pick the Ding Dong Burger skit too... the most profane sketch in the entire series and just cut it around the curses... there has got to be a story here.

I don't know how this didn't come up when the show first covered Mac & Me, but are you guys aware that Paul Rudd has been pulling an almost decade long joke on the audience of the Conan Obrian show by continually using a clip from Mac & Me everytime he is there to promote a new film he is working on (instead of the film in question)? It's amazing. And a compilation can be found here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RImuHaQV2V4

Part 2 and 3 to ease your internetting.

Do yourselves a favor and when you're done watching this movie for the second or third time (how could you not?) go over to Youtube and watch as an older Bruce Willis and the film's exec producer Robert Kraft talk out of their ass about this film for half an hour. Tired of talking heads? How about if it was a free form conversation at a piano where they occassionally just burst into songs for no reason? THIS ENTIRE FILM WAS BASED ON A SINGLE BASS LINE THEY WROTE 15 YEARS EARLIER! And if you were aching for an acoustic performance of said theme song here you go, folks. BRUNO IS BACK BABY!!!

the interview was obviously Paul using the popularity of his podcast to shine a little light on a long-form bit that an old friend of his is doing. if you don't like it, fine, but if you're the kind of comedy fan who enjoys reading fake twitters and comparing chronologies alongside fake company blogs to watch as the joke continues to grow and twist over time then... that sentence isn't even done yet and I've come to the realization that I am one of the very few people who enjoy that sort of thing and the more i try to explain it the sadder I feel about myself. Goddammit! I am so not in the mood to self-examine this shit right now. I still have 10 more years of a divorce marathon to make it through.

Jason Mantzoukas scored the role of Terrorist Smurf? You go, girl!

What happened to the WTF segment? I miss it.

There was aparently an early re-write of this film done by Kevin Smith where he made it funnier and more of a movie. Last I heard they threw all that away and took his name off. though I did just find out that there is a slightly rare "Unrated/Extended" cut of this film that has me a little interested. There still won't be any nudity, but maybe it's langauge? I don't know. It was like PG-13 afterall. Probably won't be many trips to the bonezone, or will there? :Fingers crossed:

If you think Carrie shows some awesome bush and tits in the openning credits, you haven't seen anything if you haven't seen the first 5 minutes of this thing.

And it's Luc Besson. He knows how to make awesome things. (Messed up things where pre-teen Natalie Portman has sex with old dudes :Director's Extra Special Cut:) but awesome things none the less. He's even done sci-fi stuff with special effects before. I literally don't know what happened here.

If you want GymKata your gonna have to start a real conversation to sell it. And there is a lot to talk about. A real life olympic gymnist made this movie. He retired from athletics with his medals and decided to translate his passion for being quite flexible into the passion project of this martial arts film. There is the comparision (as brought up several times on the "Jordan, Jesse, Go!" podcast) between this fictional style and the more successful GunKata brand (they got 2 movies!). (Also Hip-Hop-Kido) Fictional martial art. Fake country. Somehow based on novel? "The Skill of Gymnastics. The Kill of Karate." What get's you excited about Kurt Thomas and this brilliant film?

Check out the major fan sites and they a big piece about this effect. Turns out it was an oversized Angela mask with an extended jaw that they put on a guy from a local college. You can tell it isn't a frozen frame because of that creepy vibration in the back of the mouth that shutters as s/he shrieks.

Note: the "commentary track" is a loose one in this case. They start off talking about the movie and then a few scenes in it devolves into a SMODcast which changes directions tangentially to whatever they happen to see on the screen. Still a decent listen if you're into Smith and Mosier doing their thing.

Are you guys aware that friend of the show Kevin Smith does a commentary track on the special edition dvd? He's not involved in the movie whatsoever... just thinks it's cool and likes talking about it. Get on that shit, everyone.

Still not sure what's up with murdering those 3 little kids. They only appear like five minutes earlier when they kick some sand at the dock. Next to the child rapist and all I'm beginning to think this a bit of an over reaction on the killer's part. Not cool, murderer.

Half shirts, rooftop balloon fights, every frame of the mother... I expect these will all be covered on the podcast. I just hope they remember to notice the ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS fake mustache that the cop at the end has on. Clearly he had one earlier in the shoot and shaved it or something before retakes (retakes? ha!) because it's basically a shiny piece of tape with a whisp of short and curlies on it when he walks out of the cabin after finding Meg. Sub-topic: Why would Meg want Cigary McPummel-a-Child to slip her the curling iron anyway?

Come on, guys! I'm 2 films away from completely my dvd collection of every film from the podcasts and you had to go and pick one that cost more than a dollar? uncool.