wheelchair girl

who is wheelchair girl? what is wheelchair girl? can only I see her? are we all wheelchair girl? Is it a mischievous smile or a slow motion high five? a butt model? a child's smile in the rain but the sun is shining at the same time and setting with a double rainbow? but we all shine on like the moon and the stars and the sun. Yeah, we all shine on, C'mom and on and on and on and My heart will go on... Near... Far... Wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once more... You open the door And you're here in my heart And my heart will go on and on and just like Titanic, we all fall in love with hot rich people and we feel on top of the world. THE END.

TJ may have had a traumatic experience watching a lot of medical dramas, or maybe watching Lethal Weapon movies. Riggs! don't you quit on me!

On big brother, Aaryn: "you got me saying Asx!!" WHILE she is explaining what a box of "zings" are. SHE'S a box of zings.

WHEELCHAIR GIRL'S GOD(ITS A SECRET) RESPONDS TO HER FAN'S PRAYERS FAN: holy shit, please god. Do not ever charge us for these wheelchair girl posts ever. Thats firstly. And then secondly, only after you have done the first, please give me enough food to stay alive so I can keep watching Wheelchair Girl. GOD(voice and face is disguised): the first thing you do when you are answering prayers is to look for obvious punctuation mistakes, and then sincerity. how does the phrasing of the prayers emphasize the sincerity of the request, and do they ever contradict themselves, or are they trying to get revenge by making the request, and could the request actually harm the person more than it helps them, and do they want me to do the opposite of what they are asking for, and if I do nothing, then is that exactly what they wanted all along, and by doing nothing am I doing EVERYTHING. You know what, fuck this shit, you be God, Wheelchair Girl. You be God and judge the world and hand out justice. I am giving you a new show in the Fall called "Wheel Time with wheelchair girl". Let's see how you can handle the heat in the kitchen. Coming this Fall!!! ummmmmmmmm, yeah!(explosion graphic)

TRAILER FOR THE NEXT TRAILER: a video clip humanoid amalgamation is sitting on a couch inside a trailer, and then five MTV tv shows in humanoid form walk by and out of the trailer. He shouts after them, "i taught you everything you know!!!" "waaaalllkkkk of shaaaaame!!!" "umm, umm, jump cut, edit, jump cut, edit, music, music". "where do you think you learned to fuck with video like that", "it was meeeeee", "it has always been meeeeee'. "teen mom?,,umm, that has waaaay more of me in it than you want to know! That's my sperm people all over those teens", "um yeah. fix that one in editing for me, and wipe my video butt"."Did video kill the radio star?? Or was it mah dick?"

TRAILER FOR NEXT WHEELCHAIR GIRL MOVIE: you can see someone watching a computer screen, and you look a little closer and its you, and then the camera pans out to show the person who is watching you, and its you again, and then it pans out further and you see that everything is happening inside a large russian woman who is about to lay a nesting egg, and that is why their country is never as good as ours, and we win the olympics for the billionth time in a row, but we find out that perfect bodies aren't everything in life, and Russia is married for love and not sex, and gets the last laugh, but laughter is the best medecine and it cures our STD's, and no body wins, and equality gets the last laugh, and everyone is sort of a loser but not really.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH. that is way funnier than marv albert's "facial"!! because marv is trying way too hard to be funny.

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EPISODE 69: "POST" COITUM You have just got home from work and you walk into the post and everything is out of place and it looks like there has been a struggle. You call out for Wheelchair Girl, and wait for her to fall down the stairs or maybe wave to you from the living room just before a car bursts through the wall, but nothing happens. Something is wrong. The post is empty. All her things are strewn all over the place. What could have happened? What is the worst possible scenario in a violent home invasion like this? Could she be posting on another site? Could she be entertaining someone else right now? Is someone else using her for a couple laughs? (the phone rings, and you pick it up) "I have been watching you. You seem to have a relationship with this "wheelchair girl"..... well, If its not a relationship then why do you talk to her so much? you read her posts once a week, every week. How is that not a relationship?......Look, I have no idea how serious this relationship is, all I know is that you are investing a lot of your emotions in someone that you just met online...........Did you ask if she had a webcam? ....Why the fuck not? why would you not at least ask to talk to them on webcam,....Ok, ok, ok, this is none of my business, and I am sure you are waaaay too smart to be catfished. The reason I am calling is to demand a ransom for Wheelchair Girl. You have one second to continue reading this post or I will.... Oh, nevermind. YOU DID IT. you must really love her to give into my demands so quickly. Wheelchair girl says that you gave in almost too fast. Now she says she is on the fence about whether she wants to live with you again. Oh shit, and now the fence metaphor seems to have punctured her causing a debilitating accident, and she says she will call you back next week, saaaame place, saaaaaaaaaaaaame time, and she is winking, and you can hear it, and finger banging/gunning, and now she is folding her arms and saying THE END, ........SCEEEEEE(studio audience is going insane)NNNNNNNNN(the cheer is subsiding)NNNNNEEEE(and it starts up again twice as loud as before)EEEEEEEEE".

uh oh, Aryan is the HOH. I am sure she can handle this amount of unchecked power and will resist becoming a real dictator. oh my fiucking god, I am so lonely.

I am live tweeting this: what is the name of the host of Big Brother? the show has been on for 15 seasons, and this poor woman has not developed a personality at all. I think she kind of made her mind up about the show in the first season, and mentally checked out which is understandable, but its the 15th season already. She could just write some impromptu comments into her overtly scripted presence and make it look almost human. its almost like she has created barriers between herself and the show, and is uncomfortable about the show becoming too intertwined with her "real" life. Does she even comb her hair. I am not one to critique women's hair and make-up but she does not give a shit.

..and how about America choosing the MVP in the first two weeks, and then misunderstanding the vote in the 3rd week, and voting their favourite players to be nominees for eviction. hahahahha. THATS LIKE POLITICS IN AMERICA!!!

backdoor jeremy, backdoor jeremy, backdoor jeremy. they said it 203 times, and by the end of the show, his gf Kaitlin was crying and actually thought something crazy was going to happen....even crazier than every cast member exclusively saving the word backdoor for this poor guy jeremy, and never using that word ever again in any other scenario. The show should have totally talked about that.

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oooohhhhhhh, sooooooooooooooooooooooooo. aaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii haaaaaave toooooooo doooooo iiisssssss ccoommplain about something and then you will all promote my show over and over agian. really? is that really what I have to do? its like beefing in the where's the beef commercials. i am supposed to be all hefty hefty hefty, and then he's like wimpy wimpy wimpy, and then my little pony, and then what if victoria's secret was the same as the cadbury secret???