sodapopcat

Hippo lives in a house, thinks its human. Eats at the table, drinks coffee, and gets massages.

Woman tries to park for 6 minutes. It gets really bad around 4:30

Time flys when your having fun just like how babys fly when you throw them off a roof

Speak of the Devil and he shall appear, but he's always a little hurt you're not glad to see him.

Uncle, Father, Chicken Mother, Cousin, Sister, Almond Brothers

It's sad being the fat man protecting his food from a flock of seagulls, Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang!

Liar Liar. Dead by Cancer. Said the Pastor. Fuck Moms funeral lets watch Nascar

Passive aggressive man can't stop touching reporter. Things escalate.

Hey Nantucket Nectar! News flash! No one give a fuck about Nantucket!

A man's purse is called a murse because a woman's purse is worse

If a Canary can do the can-can how many cans did Tucan Sam can at the Cannery in Cannes?

Christine Weick rebukes the Easter Bunny https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaphwGwrY8Y

*Top Secret Message* Your mission is to find code name Choctaw and neutralize him with extreme prejudice. You have 24 hours. This message will go bang bang in 5 seconds. 5 4 3 2 1

As the cowboy crossed the ocean he saw bleachers glinting in the sun.

Hello Sluts! Hello Motorheads! Goodbye Bloods! Goodbye Dickheads! Aloha Dweebies, Sportos, Geeks, and Wasteoids! Ain't the ones your looking for not these Droids!

When Buffalo Bill eats a muffin there ain't nuffin you can do! That's right!! Aint Nuffin!!!

It's not int-her-net. It's int-his-net. #notallmennonites

By the power of Merlin Streep! I podcast you out Matt Demon!

I want a live stream that includes Scott, Jason, Kulap, and Tompkins. Scott and Jason will take turns spanking each other (Bare bottom, Over the knee) 500 times EACH. Meanwhile Kulap MUST watch them while eating and finishing an ENTIRE chocolate cake. Tompkins will host and give colored commentary/interview the participants, all while wearing his MOST DAPPER suit.

I say make cancer illegal. Let the police sort it out. Any questions? No? Ok moving on...

Guy obsessed with Selena Gomez http://youtu.be/sLRk4Q5vMGU

"Stop the presses!" shouted Elvis Presley the III and on that day the newspaper industry died.

Now Caine! Now Connery! Now McCartney and Olivier! On Jagger! On Jones! On Kingsley and Poitier! To the round table! The roundest of all! To the knights of British England, Merry Christmas to all!

CTCHPHRSS R HRD WHN THR R NLY CNSNTNTS. TRY N PRNNC THS CRRCTLY.