Schnickpot

The little boat of my genius now hoists its sail to run over better waters, leaving behind a sea so cruel.

Cheese isn't just solid milk. Look closer, friend.

The glory of Him who moves all penetrates the universe, shining in one part more and less in another.

Sometimes I forget that Schindler's List and The Emoji Movie are two separate movies.

Despite what some may have told you, this is not a "clean chicken" kind of garage. Get out of here, Feraldo!

Beeches and birches are covered with bark, and beaches and deserts are covered with sand, but my hand is just covered with leaches. Boy, do they suck!

Water is ice tea.

I'd be blue too if God was always walking on me.

Last night I dreamed I was king of a hundred anthills, each of which was filled with musical notes. An earthquake hit, and melodies erupted like lava.

Is your refrigerator running a fever? Better go catch it a cold before your food gets warm!

Outside of a dog, there's some fur, two floppy ears, a wet nose, several paws, etc.

If babies are bald, why aren't they much, much older?

Thunder is my only friend but lightning is my gentleman.

I've grown horns overnight—two dollars to hang something from them, five dollars to honk one!

Sunny in June, buy one balloon. Sunny in July, the balloon turns out to be a cyclops' eye: pop it and escape!

Cheesy puffs are one thing, but puffy cheese? That's where we get into the really interesting textural dynamics.

There's always that one guy who doesn't like it when you say "Thore she blores!!"

This sentence begins with the word "boat," contains one lie, and ends with the word "glass-bottomedness."

Look out, a loud, powerful bout of foul, growling vowels is showering down sourly from the Dour Tower hourly!

Can't we all just agree that it makes no sense to dump your trash out in the garage and then drag the empty can to the curb?

If it's not too much of a hassle, could you spend 86,000 hours working in exchange for pieces of paper that you trade for food?

I want to slap you face to face.

into broken things humour is miraculous in breathing strange life

The next time you have to do the weather report, just lie and say it'll be hot!

Inside every haystack is a smaller haystack. Unless it's already such a small haystack that anything smaller wouldn't be a haystack.