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Everything posted by Schnickpot

  1. Shampoo for my real friends and real poo for my friend with the gut flora deficiency.
  2. They should call it a banana UNpeel.
  3. All letters are bookmarks, really.
  4. There's a bullseye in my cornflakes and its name is Mighty Rick.
  5. Yell at me one more time, and I'll tape your tongue to the strawberry wall.
  6. Left to their own devices, most termites chew Wooden Chew brand wood.
  7. Make up your mind: tuba shoes or tuna sandals?
  8. What do potato chips taste like again? Oh yeah, crunchy.
  9. If a deer had another ear, he'd be a threer.
  10. Ever since I enrolled in grocery school, my bagging account has been through the roof!
  11. Can it really be possible for two P Diddies to sign my microphone? Of course: the P stands for pencils!
  12. My lips are moving faster than my mouth as I say this.
  13. Put your pizza in reverse, I'll slice you out of town.
  14. Next time you find yourself in a jam, just ask yourself: "major or minor peanut butter?"
  15. What's more uncomfortable than a porcupine doing your taxes? Two porcupines doing your taxes.
  16. When making robot soup, remember beeps and boops beat beets and boots.
  17. Hand me a pile of hands, it's wrist season!
  18. With misty maybes come twisty babies!
  19. Tabletops and soda pops, but for you I'm never blue.
  20. It sure would be nice if shelves were just little roads that cars didn't drive on.
  21. Long, long ago, when tigers smoked pipes and magpies talked, there was a woodcutter who cared for his widowed mother on Diamond Mountain.
  22. I now pronounce you "yow."
  23. Be sure to rinse your fingers with Prince Finger's Finger Rinse to prevent lingering fingerprints from beleaguering the late singer Prince.
  24. When you think about it, bread's really just a bunch of crumbs stuck together.
  25. Life isn't about finding your socks. Life is about creating your socks.