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Everything posted by Schnickpot

  1. Hey, could you please downward purge the black tartareous cold infernal dregs adverse to life? Thanks!
  2. My birthday is 555-0199.
  3. So I couldn't make the dress. Then I went to the store, but they were out of sequins.
  4. When you walk through a door it's like the door is a mouth that is eating you.
  5. The only thing keeping me from punching that guy was that I didn't want to. And that he was so nice and good to everyone. And that I have no hands.
  6. Give your husband, thanks!
  7. Let me have one more wing: this is for an angel.
  8. A Chinese finger trap can't work if you don't have any fingers. Who's trapped now?!
  9. A sneaking, meekly-rationed suspiration of impatient vapors sauntered sulking through the drafty hall long after all had left.
  10. Don't be afraid of that dog-computer, its megabark is worse than its megabite.
  11. There's nothing wrong with messing everything up out of sheer incompetence and then lying about it!
  12. Stop filling your pockets with miniature Englands, we have a dentist to thank!
  13. Thus far extend, thus far thy bounds, this be thy just Circumference, O World.
  14. Holy Monday, Easter Tuesday, Sandwich Wednesday, Marble Thursday, Cable Friday, Baby Saturday, Knuckle Sunday?!
  15. There's nothing wrong with a little whale replacement.
  16. Marlon suddenly snarled, startling Temperance, Charlie's turtle.
  17. We do not speak to you. Is there one "you" To christen, listen to words which will bear One quiet cross from "is" to endless end?
  18. Schnickpot

    Ask Paul!

    Hello Paul, I think I can clear up the controversy once and for all. The choice of harp for past and vibraphone for future makes sense for at least two reasons. First, the harp was created over 5500 years ago (practically the beginning of time), while the vibraphone was invented in the 1920s. This means that, for most of human history, harps were in the past and vibes were in the future1. Second, and even more significantly, the words themselves attest to their proper meaning: harpast; vibraphuture. Q.E.D. 1Granted, vibes are now technically in the past, but the moon is sometimes visible during the day and yet we still think sun—day, moon—night.
  19. Erin, what's your favorite word? And what's a word you're just OK with‽
  20. Does this butt look my dress make big?
  21. Mr. Nanjiani, Your alma mater, Grinnell College, was originally located in Davenport, Iowa. In 1998, Grinnell Basketballist Jeff Clements scored 77 points in a game. You and Sean Hayes have both appeared on Portlandia. What is the best way to answer a question?
  22. If I'm remembering right, number 8 was number 1 (for Sean), number 12 was number 10, number 10 was number 12, number 11 was number 7, number 10 was number 5, number 9 was number 4, number 8 was number 8, number 7 was number 4, number 6 was number 1, number 5 was number 2, number 4 was number 9, number 3 was number 11, number 2 was number 1, and number 1 was number -1.
  23. Take off that coat or you won't get wet when you come in from the house to play rain tennis on the sunken lake.